Just days away from the 12 week milestone, and time definitely feels like it’s going more quickly this time. I think we’ve pretty much just started telling whomever at this point. I know 12 weeks is the “safe point,” but I doubt a few days makes a difference. Still won’t be telling work for a little while since there are a few things up in the air with my job, and not telling work means we won’t be doing a Facebook announcement anytime soon either. Really hate keeping secrets and it’s getting harder to hide physically. Which brings me to…
Mama is looking pregnant. I know most of it is still bloat and guts being displaced, but I definitely have a small bump on my lower abdomen. Still getting occasional waves of nausea, but nothing major. Looks like I may have lucked out this time around in that department. Boobs are a little more sore now and I’m still tired, but maybe not quite as tired as I was before.
Weight: Up 0.6 lbs. this week for a total weight gain now of 1.8 lbs.
Cravings: Nothing specific, though sweets of all kinds sound good.
Baby is the size of a lime this week. Or a strawberry, depending on what app/website you’re looking at. Or about 2 inches if you’re looking to get more specific. Toothbuds and genitals are on the agenda this week. Really looking forward to finding out what we’re having. Even though this pregnancy feels totally different, my gut still says another boy. But my gut was wrong last time, so who knows. Honestly, I’d be happy with either. I’d love to have the chance to experience being a girl mom, but boys are pretty awesome and I know Theo would love having a little brother. Honestly, the biggest downfall to having another boy will be picking another boy name. I felt like we exhausted every boy name last time. But if that’s the biggest of my worries, I’ll count myself pretty blessed.
Double digits, crazy! Time definitely seems to be going by faster this time. It’s weird to think we’re only about a week and a half away from officially letting the cat out of the bag. Last time, I felt like that day couldn’t come soon enough. This time, I’m not feeling quite ready yet. Maybe it’s because so much is up in the air with work right now. Our department is re-orging and I’m not sure what that will mean for my job. So regardless of who we tell at 12 weeks, I may wait longer to tell work so I can see how things shake out here first.
Baby is the size of a prune this week, and has working arm joints. His/her cartilage and bones are forming, while vital organs are already fully developed and starting to function. New this week: baby is growing fingernails and hair!
Mama: Got some not-so-great news last week as a result of my blood draw the week before. Turns out my thyroid is low, which is common in pregnancy, and easily treatable, but does have potential serious repercussions if left untreated. So they started me on a low dose of synthyroid daily, and they’ll recheck my levels as the pregnancy progresses and up the dosage, if necessary. Other than that, I’m feeling some nausea but very little actual puking, fatigue, moodiness, the usual. I’ve also been ridiculously itchy for the last month – mostly my legs and at night. Also strange, was that yesterday and today I started having pain in my Achilles tendon, which has made it hard to walk. Fun stuff! I’m having such a hard time finding stuff to wear. I’m already wearing maternity pants or doing the rubber band trick with my regular pants.
Cravings: None at the moment.
Weight: Up 0.6 lbs this week for a total gain now of 1.6 lbs.
We had our first prenatal appointment yesterday at exactly 9 weeks, and we got to see our baby again! This time, he/she looked much more like a baby… or at least like a gummy bear. He/she was wiggling arms and legs, and the heart was beating like crazy. It actually made me tear up, seeing the baby move – the first time I’ve actually gotten emotional this pregnancy. I think it’s finally starting to feel real, and now that we’ve had two scans and I’ve reached 9 weeks, I’m starting to think we may actually get to take this baby home. We’re still not in the clear for about 3 more weeks — and really, even then there are no guarantees — but like I said, it’s definitely feeling more real. D even said he’ll probably tell his mom, so I know he’s finally getting excited too.
Baby: We have officially reached fetus status, as baby is no longer an embryo! Baby is about the size of a green olive (is it bad I’m craving green olives?), and is developing more distinct facial features this week.
Mama: Same old, same old. This pregnancy really is quite a bit easier than Theo’s, although I did almost throw up in the car this morning. I coughed and it triggered a gag reflex and I heaved a few times before I got it under control. Good thing I did, because I had nowhere to pull over and I was already on my way to work. Close one. But aside from one-off episodes like that (usually when brushing my teeth), I feel mostly fine with the occasional wave of ickiness that lasts an hour or so, then fades away again. Other than that I’m just super hungry all the time, and still pretty tired. Oh, and bloated. So bloated. I already look pregnant so I’ve had to plan my outfits carefully. I’m getting my first maternity Stitch Fix on the 15th and am hoping that helps me with my wardrobe options. I’ve been doing Stitch Fix for almost two years now and am super excited they’re now offering maternity!
Cravings: Green olives.
Weight: Minus 0.6 lbs. this week, bringing total weight gain to 1 lb. so far.
Here we are, 8 weeks. Just 3 more days until our next appointment. I hope they do an ultrasound. They said they would listen for “fetal heart tones” which sounds to me like they will be using a doppler, and I didn’t think the heartbeat was detectable by doppler this early. But ultrasound or doppler, my main concern is making sure the heart is still beating. This is such a scary time for me since our last ultrasound was just before 7 weeks, which is right about the time our first baby died. Granted, we hadn’t had that early ultrasound like we did this time, and maybe if we had, there would have been a sign that something wasn’t right, but I will definitely feel better if all goes well Thursday and we know we have officially cleared our loss milestone.
Speaking of dopplers, I got mine back this weekend from a friend who had borrowed it. I’m resisting breaking it out just yet, though! Maybe around 12-14 weeks. I will say, I am so glad I ended up buying that doppler. Not only did it save my own sanity, but after my own pregnancy I subsequently lent it to 4 friends, 3 of whom had experienced losses themselves. Best $50 I ever spent, and I love that I got to pay it forward.
Baby: We’re a raspberry this week! Baby is looking more baby-like and less like a tadpole. The tail is gone and the fingers and toes are now only slightly webbed. Baby is now moving around like crazy, even if I won’t be able to feel it for several more weeks. Fun fact: baby’s taste buds are forming this week. How does that amniotic fluid taste?
Mama: So bloated. I’ve reached a dilemma where the things I want to wear (like stretchy maxi skirts with cotton tees, since the weather has been so nice), are not the most belly-hiding choices. All of my flowy tops look best with jeans, which are both too hot and not forgiving enough on the belly. I refuse to buy more regular clothes since I’ll be in my maternity clothes soon enough, but also most of my maternity clothes are better suited for winter anyway. I should just go buy some summer maternity clothes, but it’s really too early for that. So I’ll remain in wardrobe purgatory for a while longer.
Nausea has kicked up a notch this week, and I actually threw up yesterday morning while trying to wash a load of cloth diapers. You know what sucks about puking when your pelvic floor is already destroyed from your previous pregnancy? You have the undignified concern of pissing yourself in the process. I had to cross my legs while puking, which wasn’t fun. I know my mom and grandma have both had surgery to repair the damage babies have done. I see that in my future.
Craving: mangoes!
Weight: +3.3 lbs in a week (yikes!), but still only above my starting weight by 1.6 lbs.
I can’t believe I’m already 6 weeks. In many ways I feel like time is going by faster this time. It also helps that we’re getting in for an ultrasound early — less than a week away now.
Baby: Still an embryo, baby is about the size of a sweet pea now and is starting to grow a nose, eyes, ears, chin and cheeks. S/he may even be wiggling his/her hands and feet by now! This is the week the heart will start beating and circulating blood — a huge milestone and one we hope to see at our appointment next week. I read that the risk of miscarriage goes down to about 3 percent once you’ve seen the heartbeat via ultrasound.
Mama: Still feeling pretty good compared to how I felt this time last pregnancy, though I did throw up this morning (well, I would have, if my stomach hadn’t been empty). I get random waves of nausea here and there, but brushing my teeth has been a chore. It makes me gag, then barf, and then I need to brush my teeth again after I barf. It’s a vicious cycle. Still really tired, but I’ve started taking the bus again, which helps with the evening fatigue, so at least I’m not driving drowsy. Feeling pretty gross and bloated and having a hard time finding something to wear each morning. The “blump” is real, and definitely seems to be worse this time around.
Cravings: Nothing, really.
Weight: gained 0.8 lbs. this week, but I’m still under my starting weight by 0.8 lbs.
Another week down and still pregnant. 13 days until our first ultrasound. Time is moving very, very, very slowly. I forgot just how much I hate the first trimester. There’s so much uncertainty. I thought I might feel better this time with one successful pregnancy under my belt, but I really don’t. I’ve let it slip to a couple friends who have experienced loss, so they understand my uncertainty and are cautiously excited along with me. We’re telling my parents tonight, which I have mixed feelings about. I know they’ll be excited — maybe too excited — and I feel the need to temper expectations. It’s still so early. But, I do know if something bad were to happen, I’d want their support, so I’ve decided to tell them. That, and they’ll know when I’m not drinking with dinner tonight, anyway. 🙂
Baby is now officially an embryo, about the size of an apple seed, and looks like a tadpole. S/he is starting to form heart, stomach, liver, kidneys and other major organs, in addition to the digestive, circulatory and nervous systems. By next week, baby should be double its current size (a sweet pea).
Mama: Starting the weight tracking officially. Stepped on a scale today and I’m actually down 1.6 lbs from last week. I’m starting this pregnancy a few pounds heavier than last time, so I hope I can keep the weight gain in check. Last time I gained 30 lbs, which is pretty normal, and I was able to lose it (and then some) thanks to breastfeeding, though it started creeping back up again once I weaned.
I’m largely symptom-free, which of course, has me nervous. My pregnancy app tells me I may be experiencing sore breasts (nope), nausea (very little), and fatigue (okay, that one I’m feeling, but I’ve also cut out caffeine). I know there’s still time for symptoms to kick in, but the fact that I was puking already by this stage the last two times doesn’t instill a lot of confidence. Still turning a pregnancy test positive. Good thing I’ve got a stash of tests to satisfy my newfound addition to peeing on things.
Welp, here we go again. I’m not going to publish this for a while since there are several people I want to tell in person and not via this blog (although since I stopped writing for almost a year I probably lost the few readers I had anyway). But I’ve said all along this blog is mostly for me, and so I’m starting this now because I have feeeeeeelings and I need to get it out somehow.
Yes, I’m pregnant again. It took us three cycles this time, including one medicated with Femara, the same drug that we used to conceive Theo. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have jumped to drugs so quickly, but we had a very small window to make this work, since I’m on a 1-year contract with my job that ends in February. (I can leave the contract sooner, but if we had a baby any later than February, I could be jobless/job hunting while pregnant – not ideal). So we told ourselves we would give it four cycles, and if it didn’t work, we’d have to put it off for another year or so. My doctor had suggested we give it a go for a few cycles on our own, but said she’d prescribe me the Femara whenever I wanted, since I clearly responded to it last time. First two cycles were a bust, and since I knew we only had two more cycles to make it work, I called in for reinforcements. It worked. So I’ll end my contract in January (one month early), take a few months off, and look for a new job during that time. There’s also a possibility I could get hired back for another year-long contract with my current job after a three month hiatus, which would actually work out perfect.
It doesn’t feel real yet, but I got my first very very faint positive last Saturday at 10dpo (the same timeframe I got that barely positive HPT with Theo). I’ve been peeing on tests ever since, and the line is progressively getting darker, so I guess this is it.
I did end up finding a new doctor who is both closer to home and work. I loved my last OB, but I was working in Seattle during my last pregnancy, so it made sense having a doctor close to work, even if it was about a 45 minute drive from home. But now that I’m working closer to home, it didn’t make sense to go into the city with the million appointments I have coming up. Speaking of appointments, this new doc didn’t feel it was necessary to draw betas like last time, but she did agree to get me in for a viability scan before 7 weeks (May 20), and then I have my first official OB appointment around 9 weeks (June 4). Both of those dates feel like an eternity away, but I’m glad she agreed to an early scan since I’m scared of another loss.
Baby: At this stage, baby is categorized as a blastocyst and is about the size of a poppyseed. It’s currently splitting into the embryo and placenta, and the neural tube (which will become the spine and brain) is already formed. The amniotic sac and fluid are also starting to form this week.
Mama: I’ve had a little bit of nausea that comes and goes, but it’s not too extreme. The smell of dog food doesn’t bother me (yet) like it did the last two times. One thing I am noticing is that I’m insanely thirsty, and super tired all the time – something I never really got before. Driving home in the evening is a chore. I can barely keep my eyes open. I may start taking the bus again so I can relax. I’ve had a lot of cramping lately, which I know is normal, but still freaks me out. It really doesn’t feel real yet, and while I hate to say it, I almost don’t expect this to last. But I just have to keep reminding myself: regardless of what the future brings, today I am pregnant. Holy crap.
Made it to 40 weeks. Made it past 40 weeks. Ready to have this baby already. I swear, everyone I know is calling, emailing, texting, IM’ing, Facebook messaging, sending smoke signals… asking me how I’m doing. I know everyone means well, but I’m cranky about being overdue and it just sucks to have to keep telling people, “nope, not yet.” I even posted on Facebook this morning www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com … you know, just in case anyone was wondering.
I really hope this is my last weekly update. At 40 weeks…
Baby has been served his eviction notice. He’s ready for the outside world and is just being stubborn now. He still rolls from side to side, though he seems to definitely prefer my right side. My belly is no longer round and cute. It’s frequently lopsided due to his right-side preference. It’s also very large and very low. I’ve carried pretty low this entire pregnancy, but with him dropping recently he takes low to a whole new level. The good news is, he isn’t in my ribs as much anymore, though he does work a foot up there every now and then and it HURTS because he’s so big. Mostly he just puts a LOT of pressure on my bladder and cervix with his giant head and he likes to play with my hip bone, which feels weird.
Mama has perfected the pregnant waddle. I just can’t help it, he’s so low! Lost .2 lbs this week for a total gain now of 29.2 lbs. Still no stretch marks or major swelling, though I have had to take my rings off a few times recently with the heat wave we’ve been having. It was in the high 70s to low 80s all weekend, which is very warm for this time of year in the Pacific Northwest! But other than a bit of heat-induced swelling, I do feel very fortunate that I’ve managed to escape the major swelling and “cankles” many women get toward the end of their pregnancy. Of course, it’s not over yet. Come on baby, get out already!
This weekend was spent doing a lot of walking and eating spicy food. I know they may be wives’ tales, but I’m ready to try just about anything at this point. Last night I experienced what I thought might have been the start of labor. I was getting contractions pretty consistently about every 10 minutes for over an hour, but they were mostly Braxton Hicks, with a few painful ones thrown in. I went to bed, figuring I would wake up if they got any more intense, and by this morning they were mostly gone. I’ve had a few irregular contractions this morning, but definitely not as frequent as they were last night. If it had been the real deal they would have progressively gotten stronger and closer together.
Once again, it’s Thursday and I’m just now getting around to my weekly update. As of Sunday I was 39 weeks. I’m now just three days away from my due date and growing more impatient by the day. I’ve mentioned before that being a planner makes this waiting around for baby stuff incredibly frustrating. I hate not being able to plan things, and this is probably the biggest event in my life and I can’t plan for it. To make matters worse, D is totally procrastinating on the few things I’ve asked him to do, and it’s driving me absolutely batty. I know it’s irrational since the things he needs to do can either get done quickly if I were go suddenly go into labor or would be okay waiting until we get home from the hospital, but again, it’s just the planner in me having no control over this situation, so it’s driving me crazy that there are some things I should be able to control, yet my sweet husband is not being cooperative. Grr…
Anyway, at 39 weeks (and 4 days)…
Baby is estimated to be around 8 to 8.5 lbs already, per my doctor. She doesn’t think he’s on track to be a 10-pounder like D was, but she says he won’t be small, either. Since babies put on about a half pound per week at this stage, can you see why I’m ready for him to get out already?! He’s still kicking and rolling away in there and likes to spend a lot of time pushing down on my bladder and cervix. He also frequently sticks his feet in my ribs (only on the right side for some reason), and will sometimes push his feet out into my right side so hard that it forms a lump. Like he’s trying to kick his way out or something. Sorry, baby. The exit is about 12 inches down and to the left, and the sooner you discover this, the better.
Mama is just done already. The longer I wait around, the more stir crazy I get. I’m still getting a lot of contractions, but nothing regular. This morning I actually thought my water broke for a second. I felt a little pop and a very small gush. But then nothing happened after that. After some googling, I learned that if you lay down for a half hour, if it was your water it will pool a bit inside you, and if you stand up and have another gush, you know it was your water. So I laid down on a towel on the couch for a half hour, stood up and… nothing. WTF, body? So yeah, looks like it wasn’t my water, and I haven’t had any leaking since. Who knows what it actually was, but pregnancy is full of all kinds of weird fluids and sensations, so… yeah, whatever. I feel like I’m trying so hard to read into signs lately that may or may not mean anything. I had some digestive issues over the weekend, which I read could be a sign of early labor. And then nothing. I actually lost my mucus plug on Sunday night, which I read means labor could begin in “a matter of hours or a week.” Nothing so far. I’ve been eating lots of spicy food, even though I know that’s probably an old wives’ tale (which could have been the culprit on my digestive issues, now that I think of it!). I’ve been trying to walk more, despite the fact that it’s uncomfortable and I’m totally waddling now. I have plans with a friend to go walking on Sunday if I haven’t gone into labor by then. I’m going to be so bummed if my due date comes and goes and we don’t have this baby yet! Did I mention I’m impatient??
The good news is, at my appointment last Thursday, the doctor said I’m 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Because of that, she is no longer worried about scar tissue preventing me from dilating in labor, which is a huge relief. I had another appointment on Tuesday of this week, and I hadn’t had any change since, which was a bit of a bummer. I seem to be making progress about every other appointment. Next appointment is scheduled for Friday, May 10 and I hope to God I don’t make it to that appointment.
Okay, here I am in all my beached whale glory. I put on 4 lbs in one week, which doesn’t seem possible since I’m eating the same as I was. Maybe I’m retaining more water now or something. I’m up to 29.4 lbs gained now.
Yep, I’m ready. Whenever Baby Hoffman decides to make his debut is fine with me. Well, ideally he’d wait until after this Saturday since it’s my good friend’s bridal shower and bachelorette party. But I just REALLY don’t want to go late. After this weekend I think I’m going to officially commence “Operation Evict Baby Hoffman,” and will be giving some of the old wives tales to start labor a try.
At 38 weeks…
Baby is, well, the size of a baby. No more fruit comparisons. There’s an actual full term baby hanging out inside me right now. He likes to remind me he’s still there by headbutting my bladder, kicking my ribs and stretching. Good lord, the stretching. I think he may be a long baby, because when he stretches out, I feel like I’m going to bust apart at the seams. He gets hiccups quite often too, which feels weird since he’s so low that I feel the hiccups in my butt.
Mama is feeling lethargic and achy. Except sometimes I feel perfectly fine. It changes throughout the day and I think it has a lot to do with how baby is positioned and/or how I’m positioned. For example, last night I was sitting on the couch watching TV, feeling fine. Got up to pee (for the thousandth time that day), and as soon as I stood up I just about doubled over in pain from all the pressure on my bladder and cervix. Hobbled to the bathroom, went pee, sat back down on the couch, and suddenly felt fine again. Sleeping is still uncomfortable, but I haven’t been quite as thirsty at night as I have been, which I think helps me to pee slightly less (you know, every 2 hours, instead of every hour), and in general I’ve been getting a little bit more sleep than I was before. Except last night when I was kept awake almost all night by some fierce heartburn. I’m getting a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, and they’re getting more and more uncomfortable. Sometimes I have a contraction that’s downright painful, but it’s nothing regular or timeable, so I know it’s not labor yet. I got THE WORST leg cramp a few nights ago that woke me out of a dead sleep. I shot out of bed faster than I’ve been able to do in months (funny how pain gives you super-human strength), and tried to flex my heel to stretch it out, but it was completely paralyzed. My foot was basically stuck in the Barbie doll position. After what felt like hours (and was probably about 10 seconds), I was finally able to force my heel down onto the ground so I could stretch out the cramp. I spent the rest of the night with my foot flexed upward out of fear the cramp would come back.
The good news is, the weight gain seems to have slowed (a lot of women report that the weight gain ceases in the last few weeks). Mine hasn’t ceased, but I only put on .4 lbs this week, for a total gain now of 25.4 lbs. I’m fine with that, especially since baby is supposed to be putting on a half a pound per week at this point, so it would only make sense that I would gain that much too. Still no stretch marks, thankfully, although the hole above my belly button where I used to have a piercing is bright pink and ugly, even though I took my belly ring out several years ago. Hopefully that’s not a permanent change or I may have to start wearing a belly ring again just to cover it up! I’m also fortunate that I haven’t had any major swelling. I still have ankles and my rings still fit me fine. I know a lot can happen in two weeks, so I’m trying not to gloat too much over this, but despite my complaining I really do feel fortunate that I’ve had a relatively easy pregnancy!
Oh, and the highlight of my week was getting hit on by a random dude on the street this morning on my way into work. He came up to me and told me he’d like to take me out to dinner sometime. When I pointed at the belly and said “you do realize I’m 9 months pregnant?” his response was simply, “And…?” I got a good laugh out of that. Yessss… I’ve still got it! Even if it’s just the crackheads on 3rd who appreciate it.
Oh, and just for fun, check out this comparison series roughly 10 weeks apart each, wearing the same outfit. Funny how each time I thought I was “huge” and now I can see how tiny I truly was at 18 weeks.
Keeping up with the Hoffmans 