Yep, I’m ready. Whenever Baby Hoffman decides to make his debut is fine with me. Well, ideally he’d wait until after this Saturday since it’s my good friend’s bridal shower and bachelorette party. But I just REALLY don’t want to go late. After this weekend I think I’m going to officially commence “Operation Evict Baby Hoffman,” and will be giving some of the old wives tales to start labor a try.
At 38 weeks…
Baby is, well, the size of a baby. No more fruit comparisons. There’s an actual full term baby hanging out inside me right now. He likes to remind me he’s still there by headbutting my bladder, kicking my ribs and stretching. Good lord, the stretching. I think he may be a long baby, because when he stretches out, I feel like I’m going to bust apart at the seams. He gets hiccups quite often too, which feels weird since he’s so low that I feel the hiccups in my butt.
Mama is feeling lethargic and achy. Except sometimes I feel perfectly fine. It changes throughout the day and I think it has a lot to do with how baby is positioned and/or how I’m positioned. For example, last night I was sitting on the couch watching TV, feeling fine. Got up to pee (for the thousandth time that day), and as soon as I stood up I just about doubled over in pain from all the pressure on my bladder and cervix. Hobbled to the bathroom, went pee, sat back down on the couch, and suddenly felt fine again. Sleeping is still uncomfortable, but I haven’t been quite as thirsty at night as I have been, which I think helps me to pee slightly less (you know, every 2 hours, instead of every hour), and in general I’ve been getting a little bit more sleep than I was before. Except last night when I was kept awake almost all night by some fierce heartburn. I’m getting a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, and they’re getting more and more uncomfortable. Sometimes I have a contraction that’s downright painful, but it’s nothing regular or timeable, so I know it’s not labor yet. I got THE WORST leg cramp a few nights ago that woke me out of a dead sleep. I shot out of bed faster than I’ve been able to do in months (funny how pain gives you super-human strength), and tried to flex my heel to stretch it out, but it was completely paralyzed. My foot was basically stuck in the Barbie doll position. After what felt like hours (and was probably about 10 seconds), I was finally able to force my heel down onto the ground so I could stretch out the cramp. I spent the rest of the night with my foot flexed upward out of fear the cramp would come back.
The good news is, the weight gain seems to have slowed (a lot of women report that the weight gain ceases in the last few weeks). Mine hasn’t ceased, but I only put on .4 lbs this week, for a total gain now of 25.4 lbs. I’m fine with that, especially since baby is supposed to be putting on a half a pound per week at this point, so it would only make sense that I would gain that much too. Still no stretch marks, thankfully, although the hole above my belly button where I used to have a piercing is bright pink and ugly, even though I took my belly ring out several years ago. Hopefully that’s not a permanent change or I may have to start wearing a belly ring again just to cover it up! I’m also fortunate that I haven’t had any major swelling. I still have ankles and my rings still fit me fine. I know a lot can happen in two weeks, so I’m trying not to gloat too much over this, but despite my complaining I really do feel fortunate that I’ve had a relatively easy pregnancy!
Oh, and the highlight of my week was getting hit on by a random dude on the street this morning on my way into work. He came up to me and told me he’d like to take me out to dinner sometime. When I pointed at the belly and said “you do realize I’m 9 months pregnant?” his response was simply, “And…?” I got a good laugh out of that. Yessss… I’ve still got it! Even if it’s just the crackheads on 3rd who appreciate it.
Oh, and just for fun, check out this comparison series roughly 10 weeks apart each, wearing the same outfit. Funny how each time I thought I was “huge” and now I can see how tiny I truly was at 18 weeks.


