The waiting is the hardest part.

Today I am 9 or 10 days past ovulation. Probably too early to test, but has that stopped me from testing every morning for the last three days? Of course not!

Naturally, they were all negative. Even if I am knocked up, it probably won’t show up until at least 12-13 DPO. I am well aware of this. So why do I put myself through the torture when I know it’s probably too early? Because A) I am impatient; B) I am impatient; and C) I ordered myself a pack of 25 tests from Amazon for just $5. Considering most drug store brand tests are around $15 for a 2-pack, I’m not too worried about (literally) pissing my money away. Plus, although it’s pretty rare, I have heard of someone getting a positive test at 6 DPO, which means it could totally happen to me… right?

I just hate not knowing. I’m well aware it could take a while, so I’m okay if it doesn’t happen this month. I just want to know already.

So, just like last month, in order to (attempt to) keep my mind off things, I’m making a list of what I’m looking forward to if it turns out this isn’t our month.

  1. Hot Yoga. Um, yeah. You may recall this was also on last month’s list. I never did get around to going to any classes. But this time for reals…
  2. House projects! Again, more stuff that was on last month’s list. Specifically, this month I want to get the office/guest room finished, and I’d really like to paint the bookcase and futon frame (which we’re picking up tonight!). Both will have to be sanded and primed before painting, and I’d feel much better about doing those things without worrying so much about dust and fumes. If I’m feeling extra ambitious, I may also tackle painting or staining the coffee and end tables in our living room. We got new couches with dark wood accents and the lighter stain on the rest of the furniture doesn’t quite go. But again, this will require sanding down the old stuff, which could get messy. It’s looking like the second bathroom may have to wait until November, which, if this isn’t our month, will work out better anyway. If it is, I will just have to be careful about going up and down the stairs at night, or we may have to temporarily move to the guest room. Good thing we’re getting that finished now!
  3. Halloween. I love, love, love Halloween. And our friends are throwing their annual bash, which was so much fun last year. Not that being pregnant would prevent me from attending the party, but I’d have to be sneaky about the drinking part. Then again, even if this isn’t our month, Halloween will likely fall during next cycle’s “two week wait.” So I won’t want to party too hard. Even though my doctor says, “drink till it’s pink” – meaning, drink until that positive pregnancy test (you don’t start sharing anything with the baby until about 6 weeks anyway) – I have refrained from drinking excessively since we started trying. Of course, once I get that positive test, I will stop altogether. Bottom line, it’s much easier to nurse a beer for a couple hours in an attempt to not drink too much than it is to hide not drinking altogether!

I’ll probably keep testing every morning until I get a positive or a period – the beauty of Internet cheapies! Still have my fingers crossed for a positive test, but either way, I’ll know in a few days, which is a relief in itself.

D and me, last Halloween

Here we go again…

I am officially in the dreaded “two week wait.” We’ve done all we can do this cycle and now we just have to wait for either a positive test or my period to show up. Unlike last month, I am going to (at least try to) promise myself not to over-analyze every little symptom, especially since we may not have timed things as well as we could have this cycle. If Fertility Friend is right and I did indeed ovulate on Saturday, then it’s giving us a “low” timing score. On the other hand, if ovulation happened on Sunday like I suspect it may have, our timing score is “good,” according to FF. But there’s really no way to know since I slept in and didn’t take my temperature Sunday morning because I was too tired from my brother’s wedding the night before (and since I had quite a bit to drink, my temp would have probably been artificially elevated anyway). I did get a positive result on my ovulation predictor kit on Sunday afternoon, which is also what makes me think ovulation may have happened Sunday, not Saturday. Then again, I read online that you can actually get a positive the day after ovulation. OPKs confuse me and are starting to seem sort of pointless. I mean, what’s the purpose of using them to predict ovulation, if you can get a positive after the fact? They were given to me by a friend after she successfully got pregnant and didn’t need them anymore. I’m thinking I won’t waste the money on buying more once they run out. I think I get just as good, if not better clues as to when I’m about to ovulate just by being familiar with how my body behaves each month. Plus, in order to be most accurate, you’re supposed to test twice a day – and not in first thing in the morning – which means I’d have to test at work!! No, thank you!

Speaking of the wedding, it was fantastic! Such a fun day and I couldn’t be happier for my brother and his wife. It’s also strange to think about how a big part of our baby timeline revolved around getting past the wedding and festivities. It always felt so far away, but now that it’s come and gone, there really isn’t anything holding us back from making this next leap. Scary and exciting at the same time.

In other exciting news, our good friends just had a baby Monday night, so yesterday we went to go visit them in the hospital. I have to admit, seeing D hold a baby was pretty darn cute. It was also a strange feeling to hold her and think that this could be us in less than a year. Wow. Of course, after posting the pictures on Facebook we got the expected “You’re a natural!” and “Maybe it’s about time you two had one!” comments.

Oh, if they only knew…

Two of a kind, working on a full house…

It’s official. Today marks day one of the cycle we start “trying.” We sort of got a jump start on things by accident last month, and for a while I thought I might actually be pregnant. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world (and actually would have been exhilarating to be successful so fast!), but today I finally got my period and I must say, the relief of just knowing grossly overshadows any disappointment. Plus, with me being such a huge planner, I’m relishing in this opportunity to catch my breath, check some things off my list and really get ready for taking on the biggest change of our lives. So what’s on the agenda this month?

  1. Get healthy. Yes, part of this is motivated by my desire to use up my hot yoga Groupons while I can, but I also want to establish a habit of exercising regularly now, to make it easier to continue throughout pregnancy. In addition to cramming in as many hot yoga sessions as I can, while I can, I’m also vowing to eat better. Since the weather is still nice but it’s not too hot, it’s the perfect time of year for grilling chicken and veggies – delicious, easy and healthy. I’m also planning to cut out alcohol except for special occasions, and I’ve  weaned myself to just one cup of coffee each morning. Once I’m pregnant I’ll obviously cut out alcohol altogether and will probably reduce my caffeine intake even further – maybe go half caf. or attempt quitting coffee altogether? Now there’s a frightening thought!
  2. Spend more time with D. Obviously, this is sort of a necessary step, technically speaking! But besides the obvious, I just really want to make sure we’re connected and in a good place going into all this. Our crazy summer schedules mean we’ve been spending a lot of time apart lately, and the time we do spend together is usually spent zoning out in front of the TV after an exhausting day. We have a limited time left of just being the two of us – not to mention the “trying” process can start to get stressful if things don’t happen right away. I want to make sure our relationship stays strong as we go through this, as we’ll need each other.
  3. Step up the dog training. This is something that admittedly, we have not been as diligent about as we should. I love our dogs, but I will be the first to admit, they are not the most well-mannered creatures in the world, especially when it comes to people at the door. They usually settle down after our guests have been in the house for a few minutes, but they just get so excited when people come over, and they and jump all over them. It’s very obnoxious and something we’ve attempted to fix, but haven’t been very successful to date. To be fair, we’ve trained them not to jump on us, but we’ve had a hard time teaching them that those same rules apply to guests (dogs don’t generalize well). Lately we’ve just resorted to putting them outside when people come over and then letting them in after they’ve had a chance to calm down, but that’s not a good permanent solution and doesn’t really teach them anything. Ideally I’d like to train them to sit and wait and not rush the door when people come over, but I think the only way to do that will be to talk a friend into being a guinnea pig for us and coming over to practice. This is something I want to get under control before I’m as big as a house, and definitely before there are little ones in the picture. I also want to get them better about walking on a leash and not pulling (and helping Stewie to not be so reactive to other dogs) so I can one day walk dogs and baby together.
  4. Check some stuff off our house projects list. Starting this weekend, we’ll be getting new hardwoods in the entryway, back bedroom, stairs and upstairs hallway. Those stairs will be pretty slippery when done, though, so we’ll want to get a runner down soon for those midnight bathroom trips. In early October, we’ll add a bathroom upstairs, therefore eliminating midnight trips up and down the stairs altogether. In the meantime, another project includes repairing the ceiling in our kitchen. A few months ago, we (well, I) ripped down some ugly ceiling tiles only to find the condition of the ceiling underneath to be even worse than the tiles (probably why the tiles were there…). I’m also in the process of turning our downstairs bedroom (that we use for an office) into a combination office/guest room, since the guest room upstairs will have to become the nursery eventually. Plus, with the new floors going in this weekend, now was as good of a time as any to get rid of the big corner desk and convert our closet into a more space-efficient office nook. The other big project I want to take care of before winter is repaving our driveway, as it’s in pretty poor shape – a sprained ankle waiting to happen.

It should be a pretty busy month, but as busy as it is, I am hoping to stop and and savor this time in our lives and not take anything for granted. Things are about to change forever, and while I’m very much looking forward to this next step, I am so glad we took the time to be just us two (well, plus the dogs) for 7 and a half years. At least no one can accuse us of rushing things!

You’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no…

I don’t even know what to think anymore, besides the fact that my body is throwing me for a loop and my tendency to overanalyze is only making things worse. For the past week or so, something has just felt “off.” And despite the fact that I promised myself I wouldn’t test until my period was actually late, I gave in and tested last Friday. Negative. Nope, not pregnant. Must have been all in my head… right? Well, it was pretty early… maybe too early to know? Okay, I decided (this time for reals) that I would wait it out. If my period didn’t show by Tuesday, I would test again. Of course, I have no willpower and tested again on Monday. Negative again. While part of me was beginning to accept the result, part of me wondered if maybe it was still too early to know for sure. After all, I was still only 10 days past ovulation, and most home pregnancy tests have only a 35% accuracy rate at that stage. Not to mention I was still not quite feeling like myself. Well, late Monday night I got a more convincing confirmation to the negative: what appeared to be the start of my period. While I can’t deny that I was disappointed, it was a relief just to know already. I was so ready to finally get off this crazy train, for at least another month.

Or so I thought. The next day, my “special friend” was gone.

Huh?! So now, thanks to Google (which gives me access to way more information than a crazy hypochondriac like me should be allowed), my latest theory is that maybe I experienced phenomenon known as “implantation bleeding.” Some women experience some light bleeding they mistake for a period, but it’s really just the fertilized egg burrowing in, something that usually happens around 6-12 days after ovulation. Additionally, some women experience a drop in basal temperature at implantation, and Tuesday morning’s temperature drop also supports that theory. Then again, your temp is also supposed to drop as you approach your period. The difference is, your temperature is supposed to drop and stay low during your period, whereas it would dip and then jump back up again if it was an ovulation dip. To make things more complicated, today’s temperature jumped up a little, but not back to where it was, so I’m even more confused than ever.

So what now? I guess I just have to wait… either for my period to show up again and chalk it up to a weird body fluke, or if it doesn’t show by tomorrow, test again. Bah…

9/8 update: Today marks 13 days past ovulation. Negative pregnancy test this morning. Temps have taken a dive and are now around my pre-ovulatory temps. Still no sign of my period and I’m even more confused than ever!

9/9 update: Temps were even lower this morning, but I FINALLY started my period (let’s hope it sticks around this time). At this point I’m over being disappointed about not being pregnant – I’m just glad to finally know that I can move on to the next cycle – the cycle we were supposed to start trying anyway. Bonus: no drink fakeouts required at the bachelorette party and wedding! This also means I had a 13 day luteal phase this cycle, which is great news, as that’s more in the normal range.

The best laid plans…

As I mentioned previously, since we had my IUD removed a month earlier than planned, we were going to be careful for a month before trying. Well… let’s just say we weren’t very diligent about that plan just once, and that “just once” ended up being on the day I ovulated. What do they say about the best laid plans again? Anyway, here I am, 6 days post-ovulation, wondering… could I be? No way. Maybe? Highly unlikely. But still possible. On the one hand, if we had been trying, the timing would have been great. But on the other hand, due to my short luteal phase, I’m fully anticipating this taking a while. Besides, who gets pregnant on the first month, anyway, let alone the first “time?” It takes the average healthy couple 6 months, and I know many who have tried for much longer.

It doesn’t help that I’m an admitted hypochondriac. I’m seriously over-analyzing every potential symptom, logically knowing that even IF I were, it would probably be too early to be exhibiting symptoms, anyway (although a blogger I occasionally follow got a positive pregnancy test at 6 DPO). I promised myself I wouldn’t over-analyze, yet here I am. Again, best laid plans, right?

Admittedly, most of my “symptoms” are similar to what I feel each month as my period is approaching. Mother Nature is a cruel beast, as the same hormone that surges when you are pregnant (Progesterone) is also what dominates your luteal phase as you approach your period, so the symptoms can be nearly identical. However, the one thing I’ve never experienced before that I just noticed this morning is a sudden heightened sense of smell. For some reason when I came downstairs this morning to feed the dogs, I got a whiff of what smelled distinctly like urine (eeewww). The dogs are both housetrained and we have brand new carpet, so I have no idea where it was coming from, but there it was. I also felt a little nauseated later this morning, but admittedly that was after I started to obsessively over-analyze the smell issue. The mind can be very powerful and I am trying to keep a level head about this, knowing that once I psych myself into thinking I have symptoms I will likely start noticing even more.

So, to keep myself sane until Wednesday (when my period will either have arrived or be officially late), I’m making a list of all the things I have to look forward to if I’m not knocked up. In theory, whether I am or not, I’ll be excited, right? Either excited to have literally gotten pregnant on the first try and to not have to go through the stress that months (or years) of trying can bring… or excited for the following:

  1. My future sister-in-law’s bachelorette party on the 17th, followed by my brother’s wedding on the 24th. The wedding was originally one of our primary reasons to wait until September. As I mentioned before, me at a social event without a drink in my hand is highly suspect — especially at a bachelorette party where the entire event pretty much revolves around booze. I would have to pull off some pretty sneaky stuff to fake drinking that night and not raise suspicions (we won’t be sharing the news with anyone until we’re out of the first trimester).
  2. Also booze-related: drinking one of our special bottles of wine. We have a couple nice bottles that we’ve been saving for a special occasion. I think this journey we’re about to embark upon is pretty much the epitome of a special occasion. And since we can’t exactly toast to a positive pregnancy test, it would be nice to share one last nice bottle of wine before giving it up for 9 months (or longer, depending on breastfeeding). Plus, one of our nice bottles is called “Penetration” from the Naked Winery where we went on my 30th birthday. Fitting, yeah? (giggle)
  3. Hot yoga. I bought some Groupon deals for hot yoga and still have 19 sessions left to use up. They expire in a year. Exercise is safe during pregnancy, but hot yoga raises your body’s temperature, which is a no-no. Same reason pregnant women should avoid hot tubs. So I’m hoping to use up some of those sessions prior to getting knocked up. It would also be great to lose a couple pounds and get in better shape NOW (to make getting back in shape after delivery easier). So if this turns out to not be our month, I’ll make it my personal mission to use up as many of those hot yoga sessions as I can, while I can.
  4. More time to get house stuff done — specifically, the second bathroom we’re planning to add. One of the main reasons for adding the bathroom in the first place was because I don’t want to be falling down the stairs in the middle of the night once I’m getting up multiple times to pee. From what my friends have told me, that starts only a few weeks in. If this is our month, I’ll have to be careful when going up and down the stairs, but at least I won’t be so big I can’t see my feet for a quite a while. Still not ideal, though, so if it isn’t our month, we’ll have more time to get the bathroom done before I really need it. Plus, I’ll probably be more help building the actual bathroom, if I’m not so worried about fumes or dust or heavy lifting.
  5. Work. That may sound like a strange thing to look forward to, but hear me out. Work has been a bit slow lately, and I’ve been at my current job less than a year. Consequently, I don’t feel like I’ve been able to really prove what I can do. I’m just sort of plugging away, and while I’m not doing anything wrong, I don’t feel like I’m wowing anyone, either. I had hoped to achieve that wow factor before announcing that I’ll be leaving for a while. Even though I am fully planning on coming back to work after maternity leave, the reality is, I will still be taking a large chunk of time off. While I know my coworkers will be happy for me, I also know that leaving for a significant amount of time puts a bit of a burden on those left behind, especially in a small company like ours. Another month or two would give me a bigger window to reach certain accomplishments and better solidify my value. Ugh, why do men have it so easy? I know D doesn’t lie awake at night wondering how a baby will affect his career.

So there’s my list for now: booze, more booze, yoga, house and work. That’s a lot to look forward to if this isn’t our month. And if next month isn’t our month either, then I’ll probably make another list. I think giving myself something to look forward to each cycle will help keep me sane, upbeat and distracted from the wait.

Now, I have a headache. Resisting the urge to google whether that’s a pregnancy symptom…

Gone daddy gone…

The IUD is gone.

Had it removed last Thursday. Originally, I wasn’t going to have it removed until September, but with the potential issues I might be facing, I thought I should get it done sooner, rather than later and I also wanted to have a conversation with my doctor about these issues.

The procedure itself wasn’t terrible. Much better (and quicker) than having it inserted. It still wasn’t fun, but I brought D along to squeeze my hand during the worst part, and then I just popped Tylenol throughout the rest of the day to ease some of the crampiness. By the next day, I felt almost totally back to normal.

As far as the conversation with my doctor, she asked me to bring my charts and said that while my luteal phase is definitely on the short side, that I shouldn’t worry yet and that she’s seen plenty of women with short luteal phases get pregnant. She basically told us to just start trying and if we aren’t having any success within a few months, that she might think about giving me progesterone supplements. I am somewhat relived that she didn’t seem too concerned about it, and while I had a feeling she would tell us to “just try” before intervening in any sort of way, I was also relived that she told us to come back in a few months if we weren’t having success – not the typical year doctors usually ask couples to try.

One thing I really wasn’t expecting was for my doctor to tell me to throw charting out the window. Her reason? She said I would drive myself crazy. I’m not sure I agree with that recommendation. First of all, now that I know how to chart my cycle, NOT knowing what’s going on is going to drive me even more crazy. And secondly, wouldn’t we have better chances of conceiving if we are timing things correctly? I do understand where she’s coming from, in that charting could make things seem too clinical and take the “fun” out of the process. Not to mention, stress can complicate things. But for someone like me, the unknown is the ultimate stressor. Additionally, I haven’t even really shared my charts with D, except to explain to him my concerns once I realized something was amiss. So, for now I have decided to ignore that last bit of advice from my doctor, but I will try not to stress about it too much. I also will try not to even mention my cycles or charts or temperatures to D at all… but in the background will be keeping note of that stuff for my own benefit and peace of mind. We’ll see how it goes.

So our current plan is to still wait until September to start trying. I want to get past my brother’s wedding, bachelorette parties, etc. and give myself one last month to appreciate this phase of my life which I will soon be leaving behind. I go back and forth between worrying we’ll have troubles and holding onto the (possibly naive) hope that just maybe we’ll be one of those couples who gets pregnant right away. For now, it’s at least nice to know we’re all set for whenever we decide, now that the IUD is gone.

I feel like a defective typewriter.

One of my favorite lines from Grease… and unfortunately, exactly how I’m feeling these days. And although my reasons are different, I’m just as disappointed in my body as Rizzo was.

Last month, I decided to start charting my cycles just to make sure things were working the way they should be. Theoretically, getting more familiar with what my body was doing should make conception easier once the time came, right? And in the off-chance something wasn’t right, I’d know sooner, rather than later. Well, something isn’t right.

I have always had pretty regular cycles so I had no reason to think things were amiss. However, when you chart by taking your temperatures every day, you are able to actually pinpoint when ovulation occurs. For most women, it happens roughly smack dab in the middle of their cycle, The second half of your cycle is called the luteal phase and it’s supposed to be 12-17 days long. Unfortunately I’ve discovered that I ovulate very late in my cycle, and the second half of my cycle is disproportionately shorter than the first half (just 10 days). It’s borderline what they call a luteal phase defect (LPD), and it’s one of the more common causes of infertility.

Ugh, just typing out that word makes me want to cry.

The problem with a luteal phase defect is that it’s often a symptom of low progesterone – one of the hormones required to sustain a pregnancy. Women with a luteal phase defect usually have difficulty getting pregnant, and if they do, often have early miscarriages. So I’m freaking out a little bit. D thinks there’s nothing to worry about until I talk to a doctor, but most doctors don’t even consider fertility issues a problem until you’ve been trying for a year. Facing a year full of failed attempts or worse – failed pregnancies – just seems like the worst emotional roller coaster ever. I know miscarriage is always a possibility in any pregnancy, but when the odds are stacked against you, how to you even get excited about that first positive test, knowing it probably won’t end well?

I’ve been doing a lot of research on the issue, and the good news is that LPD is usually treatable. Sometimes it can be corrected simply by getting more Vitamin B6. Sometimes over-the-counter progesterone creams will balance things out. Often, doctors will prescribe progesterone pills. If that fails, doctors usually turn to fertility-enhancing drugs such as Clomid. Clomid comes with a whole host of nasty side effects, so I’m hoping to avoid that route if possible. I have an appointment to talk to my doctor coming up, and I’m hoping she won’t just dismiss this or make us “try” for a year before doing anything, but in the meantime, I’ve started taking Vitamin B6 in the hopes that I can correct this issue in as natural a way as possible, as soon as possible. Fingers crossed.

Say hello goodbye to my little friend.

Read the title in your best Tony Montana voice for full effect.

Big step last week in the baby planning department. I made an appointment to have my IUD removed in September. Yep, I’m saying hello goodbye to my little [copper] friend.

I never thought I’d have such a love affair with a method of birth control, but as someone who’s had issues with just about every kind of Pill in the past, I can’t say enough good things about the copper (Paragard) IUD. Non-hormonal, lasts up to 10 years, 99.9 percent effective, and immediately reversible (listen to me, I sound like one of those annoying commercials). With other forms of birth control like the Pill, you usually have to wait a couple months for the hormones to leave your system and your cycles to regulate (and for some methods, like the shot, it can take up to two years!). Not to mention the scary side effects that come with hormonal birth control. I’ve known two people personally who ended up with blood clots because of the Pill, one of whom ended up having a full on stroke (actually, multiple strokes). Sorry, but a woman in her late 20s or early 30s who doesn’t even smoke should not have to worry about stroke. Even without the issues I’ve had on the Pill (which were minor in comparison), those two incidents pretty much solidified my resolve to never use the Pill again.

Sure, the thing hurt like a mother going in – and removal won’t be fun either – but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I got a good five-plus years of freedom and peace of mind out of it, and I could have gotten five more if we had wanted to. No monthly runs to the drug store for prescription refills, no pills, no shots, no patches and – best of all – no crazy hormones artificially surging through my body.

IUD, you’ve been good to me these past five years and I’ll miss you, my friend. But the time has come to pull the goalie.

Good game.

Image snagged from flixter.com

Our house…

Our cute little houseis a very, very, very fine house. It’s an adorable turn-of-the-century craftsman, just 15 minutes from my office downtown, 5 minutes from the beach and close to all kinds of fun shops, restaurants and pubs. It’s got the perfect little fenced-in yard where our dogs can run and play, and where I can grow vegetables. Or at least try to. I’m still learning.

But I’ll be the first to admit it’s not where I pictured starting our family. When we bought this house more than five years ago, it was always only meant to be a starter house. We figured we’d stay for 3-5 years, build some equity, get more established in our careers (i.e., make more money), and then buy something bigger and better.

And then the real estate market tanked.

Suddenly we were faced with the reality that not only would selling our house not net us enough equity to trade up, but that once we factored in real estate costs, we could end up even owing money on the home. So we made the decision to stay put and ride out the recession. While it’s disappointing, I realize we are so much more fortunate than many out there. We’re not in danger of losing our home to foreclosure, and the fact that we’re both making quite a bit more money now than when we first started out means we have some flexibility to do some home improvements and make the most of what we’ve got.

Now that we’re starting to whisper the “B” word around the house, we’re realizing just how much we have to do to prepare our house. It’s amazing how something so small can completely turn your entire house upside down. For starters, we’ll need a second bathroom. Currently, our master bedroom is upstairs and our one and only bathroom is downstairs. It’s something we’ve learned to live with, but will NOT fly once I’m pregnant. Everyone says you have to pee a lot, and the idea of waddling down our narrow staircase in the middle of the night when I’m at the point where I can’t see my feet anymore sounds a bit dangerous. Especially since I’ve fallen down those stairs before in a half-asleep stupor. Something tells me falling down stairs is probably not good for the baby.

As long as we’re calling a plumber out for the bathroom, I’ve always wanted a utility sink for the laundry room, especially since I plan on cloth diapering. Come to think of it, we’ll probably want a high efficiency front-loading washing machine. Even if we didn’t cloth diaper, I have heard you’re pretty much doing nonstop laundry, so now seems like as good of time as any to upgrade. Did you know they use about 1/3 less water than regular washers? Amazing.

Obviously, the baby needs somewhere to sleep, so, what is currently our guest bedroom will become the nursery, since it’s right next to the master bedroom. Which means the guest bedroom will have to move downstairs to where the office currently is. And since that’s the end of the line for bedroom musical chairs, our guest bedroom and office will have to share a space. There won’t be room for our huge computer desk AND a queen size bed, so we’ll probably have to downgrade to some space-saving furniture for both functions, like a futon or sofa sleeper and a smaller desk. I actually saw a great space-saving office idea on one of my favorite blogs, Better After. I like the idea of being able to close off the office portion of the room so guests don’t feel like they’re sleeping in the office. And with the futon or sofa sleeper instead of a real bed, we won’t feel like we’re officing in the guest room. Not an ideal situation either way, but we’re going to have to make do with the space we have. Let’s just hope the real estate market turns around before we event start thinking about baby #2, as we’re already going to be pushing the limits of our itty bitty house!

Maybe…

Tom Smykowski jumps to conclusions too

I tend to jump to conclusions. A lot. Anyone who really knows me, knows I tend to over-analyze everything. As the child of a doctor, I’ve also always been a bit of a huge hypochondriac. (What is it with doctors’ kids and hypochondria? Seriously, we all have it.)

Anyway, so, my period is two days late. Which shouldn’t be a huge deal – it’s been two or three days late before. But I can usually tell it’s coming for a couple days beforehand and I haven’t had any of the usual telltale signs, which makes me think it’s not anywhere close. What’s worse, is I’ve been having some other strange symptoms, most of which I’ve been able to brush off – though didn’t go entirely unnoticed (see above re: hypochondria). But this morning, I actually almost barfed at my desk after eating a granola bar.

Whoa – hold up. Now I’m legitimately concerned.

It was the strangest thing, as it came on SO suddenly and so strongly. I’ve had the flu, and I’ve been hung over more times than I care to admit, but I’ve only had nausea come on so suddenly and strongly like this one other time in my life, and it was an adverse reaction to some medication. No new meds for me this morning. For a minute I was debating whether to hurl in my trashcan or make a run for the bathroom, either of which would look suspicious. I took a few deep breaths, and then as suddenly as it had come on, it was mostly gone. Now, it could be the Cinco de Mayo burrito I stuffed in my face yesterday at lunch, or any number of things, really. But it was enough to send me Googling how early morning sickness can start coming on (yikes!), along with other early pregnancy symptoms (check, check and check), and counting back the days on my cycle to see if it was possible timing-wise (um, yep). Now, I have an IUD, which means pregnancy is HIGHLY unlikely – less than one percent. Getting pregnant with an IUD is not a good thing. You have to have it removed immediately, which can often cause a miscarriage.

If it doesn’t terminate the pregnancy, from what I understand, most women go on to have normal pregnancies without any lingering complications. While not ideal timing, I suppose it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Obviously I’ve already got babies on the brain – and realistically we’d probably be pulling the goalie in another 4 months or so anyway. What are 4 months extra preparedness compared to a lifetime of being a parent? Probably not hugely significant, though the thought of squeezing into a form-fitting bridesmaid dress that’s already been ordered (and just arrived) for my brother’s wedding when four months along (the point where you just look fatter, not necessarily pregnant) is a little frightening.

I debated whether to buy a test. If they weren’t so dang expensive, I would, just for peace of mind. I’ll probably wait another couple days, though. It’s only been 2 days, and if not for the extreme nausea episode, I probably wouldn’t be freaking out. But I’ve never been more than 3 days late, so if it goes past then, I’ll test. Meanwhile, I just keep trying to convince myself I’m being a hypochondriac, per usual. I mean, less than one percent failure rate, really. Could I actually be that less than one percent?

Maybe…

Update: Two negative tests and five days later and my period finally shows up. It’s never been that late before. On the one hand, I’m glad it’s finally here, but on the other hand, I actually was legitimately disappointed in the negative tests. Perhaps I’m more ready than I originally thought…