Category: pregnancy

Here we are, 8 weeks. Just 3 more days until our next appointment. I hope they do an ultrasound. They said they would listen for “fetal heart tones” which sounds to me like they will be using a doppler, and I didn’t think the heartbeat was detectable by doppler this early. But ultrasound or doppler, my main concern is making sure the heart is still beating. This is such a scary time for me since our last ultrasound was just before 7 weeks, which is right about the time our first baby died. Granted, we hadn’t had that early ultrasound like we did this time, and maybe if we had, there would have been a sign that something wasn’t right, but I will definitely feel better if all goes well Thursday and we know we have officially cleared our loss milestone.

Speaking of dopplers, I got mine back this weekend from a friend who had borrowed it. I’m resisting breaking it out just yet, though! Maybe around 12-14 weeks. I will say, I am so glad I ended up buying that doppler. Not only did it save my own sanity, but after my own pregnancy I subsequently lent it to 4 friends, 3 of whom had experienced losses themselves. Best $50 I ever spent, and I love that I got to pay it forward.

Baby: We’re a raspberry this week! Baby is looking more baby-like and less like a tadpole. The tail is gone and the fingers and toes are now only slightly webbed. Baby is now moving around like crazy, even if I won’t be able to feel it for several more weeks. Fun fact: baby’s taste buds are forming this week. How does that amniotic fluid taste?

Mama: So bloated. I’ve reached a dilemma where the things I want to wear (like stretchy maxi skirts with cotton tees, since the weather has been so nice), are not the most belly-hiding choices. All of my flowy tops look best with jeans, which are both too hot and not forgiving enough on the belly. I refuse to buy more regular clothes since I’ll be in my maternity clothes soon enough, but also most of my maternity clothes are better suited for winter anyway. I should just go buy some summer maternity clothes, but it’s really too early for that. So I’ll remain in wardrobe purgatory for a while longer.

Nausea has kicked up a notch this week, and I actually threw up yesterday morning while trying to wash a load of cloth diapers. You know what sucks about puking when your pelvic floor is already destroyed from your previous pregnancy? You have the undignified concern of pissing yourself in the process. I had to cross my legs while puking, which wasn’t fun. I know my mom and grandma have both had surgery to repair the damage babies have done. I see that in my future.

Craving: mangoes!

Weight: +3.3 lbs in a week (yikes!), but still only above my starting weight by 1.6 lbs.

I can’t believe I’m already 6 weeks. In many ways I feel like time is going by faster this time. It also helps that we’re getting in for an ultrasound early — less than a week away now.

Baby: Still an embryo, baby is about the size of a sweet pea now and is starting to grow a nose, eyes, ears, chin and cheeks. S/he may even be wiggling his/her hands and feet by now! This is the week the heart will start beating and circulating blood — a huge milestone and one we hope to see at our appointment next week. I read that the risk of miscarriage goes down to about 3 percent once you’ve seen the heartbeat via ultrasound.

Mama: Still feeling pretty good compared to how I felt this time last pregnancy, though I did throw up this morning (well, I would have, if my stomach hadn’t been empty). I get random waves of nausea here and there, but brushing my teeth has been a chore. It makes me gag, then barf, and then I need to brush my teeth again after I barf. It’s a vicious cycle. Still really tired, but I’ve started taking the bus again, which helps with the evening fatigue, so at least I’m not driving drowsy. Feeling pretty gross and bloated and having a hard time finding something to wear each morning. The “blump” is real, and definitely seems to be worse this time around.

Cravings: Nothing, really.

Weight: gained 0.8 lbs. this week, but I’m still under my starting weight by 0.8 lbs.

Made it to 40 weeks. Made it past 40 weeks. Ready to have this baby already. I swear, everyone I know is calling, emailing, texting, IM’ing, Facebook messaging, sending smoke signals… asking me how I’m doing. I know everyone means well, but I’m cranky about being overdue and it just sucks to have to keep telling people, “nope, not yet.” I even posted on Facebook this morning www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com … you know, just in case anyone was wondering.

I really hope this is my last weekly update. At 40 weeks…

Baby has been served his eviction notice. He’s ready for the outside world and is just being stubborn now. He still rolls from side to side, though he seems to definitely prefer my right side. My belly is no longer round and cute. It’s frequently lopsided due to his right-side preference. It’s also very large and very low. I’ve carried pretty low this entire pregnancy, but with him dropping recently he takes low to a whole new level. The good news is, he isn’t in my ribs as much anymore, though he does work a foot up there every now and then and it HURTS because he’s so big. Mostly he just puts a LOT of pressure on my bladder and cervix with his giant head and he likes to play with my hip bone, which feels weird.

Mama has perfected the pregnant waddle. I just can’t help it, he’s so low! Lost .2 lbs this week for a total gain now of 29.2 lbs. Still no stretch marks or major swelling, though I have had to take my rings off a few times recently with the heat wave we’ve been having. It was in the high 70s to low 80s all weekend, which is very warm for this time of year in the Pacific Northwest! But other than a bit of heat-induced swelling, I do feel very fortunate that I’ve managed to escape the major swelling and “cankles” many women get toward the end of their pregnancy. Of course, it’s not over yet. Come on baby, get out already!

This weekend was spent doing a lot of walking and eating spicy food. I know they may be wives’ tales, but I’m ready to try just about anything at this point. Last night I experienced what I thought might have been the start of labor. I was getting contractions pretty consistently about every 10 minutes for over an hour, but they were mostly Braxton Hicks, with a few painful ones thrown in. I went to bed, figuring I would wake up if they got any more intense, and by this morning they were mostly gone. I’ve had a few irregular contractions this morning, but definitely not as frequent as they were last night. If it had been the real deal they would have progressively gotten stronger and closer together.

So for now, we continue to wait…

Once again, it’s Thursday and I’m just now getting around to my weekly update. As of Sunday I was 39 weeks. I’m now just three days away from my due date and growing more impatient by the day. I’ve mentioned before that being a planner makes this waiting around for baby stuff incredibly frustrating. I hate not being able to plan things, and this is probably the biggest event in my life and I can’t plan for it. To make matters worse, D is totally procrastinating on the few things I’ve asked him to do, and it’s driving me absolutely batty. I know it’s irrational since the things he needs to do can either get done quickly if I were go suddenly go into labor or would be okay waiting until we get home from the hospital, but again, it’s just the planner in me having no control over this situation, so it’s driving me crazy that there are some things I should be able to control, yet my sweet husband is not being cooperative. Grr…

Anyway, at 39 weeks (and 4 days)…

Baby is estimated to be around 8 to 8.5 lbs already, per my doctor. She doesn’t think he’s on track to be a 10-pounder like D was, but she says he won’t be small, either. Since babies put on about a half pound per week at this stage, can you see why I’m ready for him to get out already?! He’s still kicking and rolling away in there and likes to spend a lot of time pushing down on my bladder and cervix. He also frequently sticks his feet in my ribs (only on the right side for some reason), and will sometimes push his feet out into my right side so hard that it forms a lump. Like he’s trying to kick his way out or something. Sorry, baby. The exit is about 12 inches down and to the left, and the sooner you discover this, the better.

Mama is just done already. The longer I wait around, the more stir crazy I get. I’m still getting a lot of contractions, but nothing regular. This morning I actually thought my water broke for a second. I felt a little pop and a very small gush. But then nothing happened after that. After some googling, I learned that if you lay down for a half hour, if it was your water it will pool a bit inside you, and if you stand up and have another gush, you know it was your water. So I laid down on a towel on the couch for a half hour, stood up and… nothing. WTF, body? So yeah, looks like it wasn’t my water, and I haven’t had any leaking since. Who knows what it actually was, but pregnancy is full of all kinds of weird fluids and sensations, so… yeah, whatever. I feel like I’m trying so hard to read into signs lately that may or may not mean anything. I had some digestive issues over the weekend, which I read could be a sign of early labor. And then nothing. I actually lost my mucus plug on Sunday night, which I read means labor could begin in “a matter of hours or a week.” Nothing so far. I’ve been eating lots of spicy food, even though I know that’s probably an old wives’ tale (which could have been the culprit on my digestive issues, now that I think of it!). I’ve been trying to walk more, despite the fact that it’s uncomfortable and I’m totally waddling now. I have plans with a friend to go walking on Sunday if I haven’t gone into labor by then. I’m going to be so bummed if my due date comes and goes and we don’t have this baby yet! Did I mention I’m impatient??

The good news is, at my appointment last Thursday, the doctor said I’m 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Because of that, she is no longer worried about scar tissue preventing me from dilating in labor, which is a huge relief. I had another appointment on Tuesday of this week, and I hadn’t had any change since, which was a bit of a bummer. I seem to be making progress about every other appointment. Next appointment is scheduled for Friday, May 10 and I hope to God I don’t make it to that appointment.

Okay, here I am in all my beached whale glory. I put on 4 lbs in one week, which doesn’t seem possible since I’m eating the same as I was. Maybe I’m retaining more water now or something. I’m up to 29.4 lbs gained now.

Yep, I’m ready. Whenever Baby Hoffman decides to make his debut is fine with me. Well, ideally he’d wait until after this Saturday since it’s my good friend’s bridal shower and bachelorette party. But I just REALLY don’t want to go late. After this weekend I think I’m going to officially commence “Operation Evict Baby Hoffman,” and will be giving some of the old wives tales to start labor a try.

At 38 weeks…

Baby is, well, the size of a baby. No more fruit comparisons. There’s an actual full term baby hanging out inside me right now. He likes to remind me he’s still there by headbutting my bladder, kicking my ribs and stretching. Good lord, the stretching. I think he may be a long baby, because when he stretches out, I feel like I’m going to bust apart at the seams. He gets hiccups quite often too, which feels weird since he’s so low that I feel the hiccups in my butt.

Mama is feeling lethargic and achy. Except sometimes I feel perfectly fine. It changes throughout the day and I think it has a lot to do with how baby is positioned and/or how I’m positioned. For example, last night I was sitting on the couch watching TV, feeling fine. Got up to pee (for the thousandth time that day), and as soon as I stood up I just about doubled over in pain from all the pressure on my bladder and cervix. Hobbled to the bathroom, went pee, sat back down on the couch, and suddenly felt fine again. Sleeping is still uncomfortable, but I haven’t been quite as thirsty at night as I have been, which I think helps me to pee slightly less (you know, every 2 hours, instead of every hour), and in general I’ve been getting a little bit more sleep than I was before. Except last night when I was kept awake almost all night by some fierce heartburn. I’m getting a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, and they’re getting more and more uncomfortable. Sometimes I have a contraction that’s downright painful, but it’s nothing regular or timeable, so I know it’s not labor yet. I got THE WORST leg cramp a few nights ago that woke me out of a dead sleep. I shot out of bed faster than I’ve been able to do in months (funny how pain gives you super-human strength), and tried to flex my heel to stretch it out, but it was completely paralyzed. My foot was basically stuck in the Barbie doll position. After what felt like hours (and was probably about 10 seconds), I was finally able to force my heel down onto the ground so I could stretch out the cramp. I spent the rest of the night with my foot flexed upward out of fear the cramp would come back.

The good news is, the weight gain seems to have slowed (a lot of women report that the weight gain ceases in the last few weeks). Mine hasn’t ceased, but I only put on .4 lbs this week, for a total gain now of 25.4 lbs. I’m fine with that, especially since baby is supposed to be putting on a half a pound per week at this point, so it would only make sense that I would gain that much too. Still no stretch marks, thankfully, although the hole above my belly button where I used to have a piercing is bright pink and ugly, even though I took my belly ring out several years ago. Hopefully that’s not a permanent change or I may have to start wearing a belly ring again just to cover it up! I’m also fortunate that I haven’t had any major swelling. I still have ankles and my rings still fit me fine. I know a lot can happen in two weeks, so I’m trying not to gloat too much over this, but despite my complaining I really do feel fortunate that I’ve had a relatively easy pregnancy!

Oh, and the highlight of my week was getting hit on by a random dude on the street this morning on my way into work. He came up to me and told me he’d like to take me out to dinner sometime. When I pointed at the belly and said “you do realize I’m 9 months pregnant?” his response was simply, “And…?” I got a good laugh out of that. Yessss… I’ve still got it! Even if it’s just the crackheads on 3rd who appreciate it.

Oh, and just for fun, check out this comparison series roughly 10 weeks apart each, wearing the same outfit. Funny how each time I thought I was “huge” and now I can see how tiny I truly was at 18 weeks.

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday. I’m really slacking on my updates. I meant to write this earlier, but then I thought I’d wait until my doctor appointment today, in hopes of having more to report. As of Sunday I was 37 weeks pregnant, AKA full term, meaning baby can come at any time. I would prefer to keep him baking until 39 weeks since there’s been a bunch of research showing that babies aren’t fully developed until then. But it’s still comforting to know that if he were born now that he wouldn’t need NICU time and the doctors likely wouldn’t do anything to stop labor. Home stretch.

At 37 weeks…

Baby is probably about as long as he’s going to be at birth and is just plumping up now. He’ll put on about a half a pound of chub every week from now until delivery. He is head down, VERY low and likes to cause me to walk like an old woman now. At my appointment today, the doctor guessed his weight is around 7 lbs., and thankfully said he wasn’t on track to be a 10 pounder like his dad! He is still moving quite a bit, and likes to stretch out frequently, making my belly contort into very odd shapes. Every once in a while he’ll flail about almost violently, reminding me of that scene from Christmas Vacation where Aunt Bethany wraps up her cat (below, at about the 1:47 mark).

Mama is really feeling it now. Weight gain for the week was a respectable .6 lbs. for a total gain now of 25 even. Funny, last week I was feeling surprisingly good. Now I’m just achy and crampy all the time. I’m getting a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, with some downright painful contractions thrown in every once in a while too. After being told at my last doctor appointment that I was 1 centimeter dilated, I was feeling pretty optimistic that I wouldn’t go past my due date. In fact, the OB told me, “I don’t think you’ll go late.” I just had another appointment this afternoon and despite all my cramping and contracting, I have had no change since last week, and the OB today (a different OB), told me, “I don’t think you’ll go early.” So which is it? Sure, all along I’ve wanted baby to come on time, but I know that’s not a realistic expectation either (less than 5% of babies are born on their due dates), which just leaves me with a lot of ambiguity still. Giving up control is really hard for someone like me, and I hate that I can’t really make plans with anyone right now or even plan out what projects I take on at work. I’m simultaneously feeling the pressure to get things done, while also feeling like I’ll be pregnant forever at this point. I have dreams almost every night about my water breaking and/or going into labor, only to wake up dry and labor-free.

If I’m honest, I’m feeling a little cranky today about the whole thing. I thought for sure after all the cramping and contracting I’ve been doing all week that I’d be more dilated by now. And even though I know dilation isn’t that reliable of an indicator of when I’ll go into labor, it still made me feel good knowing we were making progress. But with no progress this week, it worries me that I might not progress as fast as I’d like during labor.

As I’ve mentioned before, I had a LEEP procedure done about 10 years ago due to some pre-cancerous cells that were found during a routine PAP. One of the earlier concerns with the LEEP was that it had the potential to cause incompetent cervix, making me more susceptible to a second trimester loss. Because of that, I was closely monitored at each doctor appointment, and thankfully, my cervix has held up this entire pregnancy. Unfortunately, one of the other possible complications of a LEEP (and the more common one, according to my doctor), is that it can cause some scar tissue within the cervix, causing it to not dilate easily. So I could end up having painful contractions without making progress once I go into labor. My doctor said if that were to happen, they’d actually make a small cut on my cervix to essentially release the scar tissue so that I can continue to dilate. She said it would hurt, but only takes a few seconds. Great. Not that I expected labor to be all fun and games, but I’m a little worried about the pain and frustration of failing to progress and the idea of being cut in order to do so. Let’s just hope that turns out not to be an issue.

Less than one month to go (in theory, anyway) — eek! And only 5 days until I’m full term. I think it’s safe to say nesting is in full effect. I’ve been driving D crazy with my honey-do list, and most things I end up just doing myself when I get tired of nagging him. His attitude is definitely a lot more relaxed than mine and he keeps reminding me we’ve still got a month left. This, of course, drives me crazy, since there’s no guarantee that I’ll make it to my due date. Of course, his argument is that I have just as much of a chance of going late as early, which is probably true, but I would still rather be prepared now. So, here’s what’s on my list of to-do’s (including some I’ve checked off already this week, because the list-maker in me gets so much satisfaction in crossing things off my list that I like to include stuff I’ve already done. What, is that weird?)

• Install car seat bases in both cars (partially checked off – done in one car).
• Attach changing pad to dresser in nursery.
• Buy a new barrier/net for our SUV’s cargo area (keep dogs out of baby’s face during car rides!)
• Have spare keys made.
• Give keys to people who could help with our dogs while we’re in the hospital (partially crossed off – we’ve given out one set of keys).
• Buy more hangers for baby clothes (this kid has an enormous wardrobe!)
• Buy letters for baby’s name above the crib.
• Buy necessities that we didn’t get from our baby showers.
• Buy a stroller.
• Buy a baby monitor
• Buy a deep freezer for garage (want extra freezer space for pumped milk and freezer meals).
• Make and freeze a bunch of quick meals to throw in the crock pot once baby gets here and we don’t feel like cooking (about halfway done with these).
• Meet with a lawyer to write up wills.
• Update life insurance policies.
• Take dogs to the vet for a checkup and update on their shots.
• Wash and put away baby clothes, sheets and blankets.
• Pack hospital bag.
• Get organized at work so I can hand stuff off at a moment’s notice.
• Bring a spare pair of pants, towel and a garbage bag to work in case my water breaks there (yikes!).
• Talk to HR about logistics and paperwork needed for maternity leave.
• Frame or mount maternity pictures.

It’s funny, I started drafting this post a few days ago and by the time I came back here to finish writing, I had already checked off about 5 more things. I’m also going on a frantic cleaning spree, which I’m sure D loves, since I’m usually not the tidiest person. Today I washed all the blankets, rugs, floor mats, dog beds, etc. in our house and Febreezed everything that couldn’t be thrown in the wash. I don’t know if our dogs are getting smellier or if it’s just my crazy prego nose, but all I can smell lately are dogs, even though they’ve both recently been bathed.

Okay, crazy nesting aside, here’s what’s happening with baby and me at 36 weeks…

Baby is moving like crazy still, and kicked me hard enough in the ribs last week to make me wonder if he could have broken them. Thankfully the pain went away after a couple days, so I was probably just bruised. Strong boy. He should be around six-ish pounds now, but babies vary so much at birth weight that it’s really anyone’s guess at this point. If he were born now he’d probably do just fine, though it’s best to keep him baking a few weeks longer for optimal health. Premature babies often have trouble breastfeeding, which is something that’s really important to me. He should be shedding most of the hair that once covered his body, as well as the vernix caseosa that protected his skin from the amniotic fluid. Thankfully, the OB today confirmed that he is still head-down and already very low, so all systems are a go so far!

Mama is 1 centimeter dilated – woohoo! I got a cervical check at my appointment this morning and was told that I’m at one centimeter and beginning to efface (though she didn’t say by how much and I forgot to ask). I know the dilation and effacement don’t really mean much at this stage — as I said last week, women can walk around dilated for quite some time, or go from zero to 10 rather quickly — but if nothing else, that’s at least one less centimeter that I have to dilate in labor, right? One down, nine to go. 🙂 Other than that, I’m feeling pretty good during the day, but super uncomfortable at night. I don’t sleep much at all these days and I’m getting up to pee every hour or two. Movements such as rolling over or sitting up are downright painful. But it’s weird – for as horrible as I feel at night, I wake up in the morning and as soon as the hot shower hits my back, all the achiness goes away.

It still doesn’t quite feel real. In the elevator at the hospital this morning, some woman told me I looked like I was ready to have a baby “any day now.” I told her I still had four weeks to go, but it is kind of funny to hear comments from strangers like that because I don’t really feel *that* big. Then again, maybe I’m just delusional and/or getting used to my larger self. Gained .4 lbs this week for a total gain now of 24.4 lbs. I’ve started letting myself indulge a bit more in cravings than normal since I’ve done pretty well with my weight so far. Not that I want to have to lose a lot afterward, but if 25-35 lbs is considered ideal weight gain, that means I’m allowed to gain 11 more lbs in the next 4 weeks… right??? 😉 Bring on the chocolate!