health & body – Page 7 – Keeping up with the Hoffmans

It’s a boy!

December 12, 2012December 12, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

We had our anatomy scan yesterday, and everything looked great!! I was very nervous going into the ultrasound, and it didn’t help that it was in the same office where we had been sent with our last pregnancy to confirm the miscarriage. In fact, when I checked in, the receptionist looked at my chart and cheerily said to me, “Oh, looks like you were here about a year ago!” Ouch. Between the nerves and the painful reminder, it was hard to fight back tears while sitting in the waiting room. But we got called back and soon I was able to see my wiggling baby on the screen – who looked much more recognizably human than last ultrasound!

The ultrasound tech was great, and explained everything we were looking at in lots of detail. She said that baby was measuring right on track for my gestation, and that the heart, brain, stomach, kidneys, etc. all looked great. And, as you can see by the title, we are officially on team blue! I was shocked. I had this gut feeling we were having a girl, but there was no denying he is all boy! The tech was able to determine that this baby had come from my right ovary, which is of zero significance, but I thought it was interesting that she could tell. She also pointed out that I have an anterior placenta, which isn’t a concern, but explains why I haven’t been feeling much movement yet. That was comforting to know, and to see for myself that baby is definitely moving a lot, even if I’m not feeling much. He was wiggling all over the screen during the scan, kicking his legs over his head and sucking his thumb. It was very cute. My cervix was still measuring long and closed, which was a relief, as I was previously told I have a slightly elevated risk of incompetent cervix, due to a LEEP procedure I had done about 10 years ago. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be an issue, though I will continue to be monitored for any signs of shortening or dilation at future doctor appointments. The tech also commented on how big his feet are, which was funny, since D has really big feet. D was like, “well, I guess now we know for sure it’s mine!”

Here is my sweet baby boy!

And here are his big feet!

Update: I forgot to add this video in earlier. I thought of this song and D when we found out, and it makes me smile (and cry):

health & body, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

19 weeks.

December 10, 2012December 10, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

Well, we are now at 19 weeks, and on the eve of our anatomy scan, which is tomorrow. Truth be told, I’m nervous. I’m excited to hopefully find out if this baby is a boy or girl (for the record, my gut says girl), but most importantly, I’m hoping everything is measuring and functioning normally, and that we have a healthy baby growing in there.

I’ll update the blog after our appointment tomorrow, but in the meantime, here’s what’s going on with baby and me at 19 weeks…

Mama has had a bit of a rough week, physically-speaking! As I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been dealing with some aches and pains, and have been suddenly feeling very pregnant. Thankfully, since then, the morning sickness has at least disappeared again (hopefully for good this time!), but the insomnia and the hip and back pain is still going strong. I also notice that I get really winded if I bend over, like my lungs are getting smushed by all my other organs (which is probably true). Hard to believe I’m not even halfway done. I can only imagine what this will feel like as I get closer to 40 weeks… yikes!

Baby is kicking away in there and as of these last few days I’m finally at a point where I’m confident that it’s definitely baby I’m feeling – yay! Baby is now about 6 inches long – about the size of a mango, and is now coated in vernix – a waxy substance that protects its skin from the amniotic fluid – you know, so it doesn’t get all pruney. Not a whole lot else to say about development at this point. Baby is fully assembled and now just needs to fatten up!

Well, that’s about it for now. Not a ton else to report this week! Here’s a picture I took on Saturday, just before yoga class. For comparison’s sake, take a look at me in the same top just before yoga class close to 13 weeks! Big difference!

health & body, pregnancy

Puking, insomnia and snissing, oh my!

December 5, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

Ummm… why is it that I’m suddenly feeling VERY pregnant? Second trimester is supposed to be the honeymoon period of pregnancy, and after going a few weeks now with almost no symptoms, suddenly these last few days I’m very aware that I’m pregnant. I wish I could say it’s because I’m feeling baby move, but I’m still not really sure whether I am or not. No, this sudden awareness is all in the discomforts and undignified issues of my own body.

First of all, the morning sickness appears to be back. I mentioned on Monday that I threw up that morning, and I did yesterday and today too. I feel fine the rest of the day, so I’m not worried I have a stomach bug. I think morning sickness just decided to rear its ugly head again. Lovely.

I’m also having a harder time sleeping. I’m still waking up every 2-3 hours to pee, and I’m also getting to a point where I’m supposed to stop sleeping on my back, since the uterus is heavy enough to squash some veins and impede blood flow. Not that I was ever much of a back sleeper before, but for some reason now that I’m not supposed to, I keep waking up on my back. Last night I was sleeping on my right side when I woke up to the most horrible pain in my right hip. I had heard that your hips spread during pregnancy, and I’m wondering if this hip pain is part of that. I immediately rolled over onto my left side, but I still had shooting pains in my hip for quite a while afterward. Of course, then my left arm got sore, which made me uncomfortable on my left side, but I couldn’t roll onto my right because of my hip and couldn’t sleep on my back either.

I’m also just feeling really “full” lately, like I’m full of fluid. Well, I guess I am. I’m definitely showing more and more each day, and I’ve gotten to a point now where if I lay on my back, I can feel the full outline of my uterus in my abdomen, and it reaches all the way up to my belly button. Bending over is getting harder, and getting out of bed is almost comical. I seriously look like one of those pregnant women in cliche movies and TV shows who leads with her belly while pushing off. And I’m only 18.5 weeks! So much of this stuff I figured wouldn’t come until later in pregnancy.

Perhaps the most undignified change my body is going through happens when I sneeze. Yes, I sometimes pee just a little. The other day I was sitting cross-legged on our living room floor and I sneezed, froze and was like, ohshit. D just looked at me quizzically and I told him that I just peed myself … and not just a little. Yeah, he was thoroughly grossed out. I recently heard a great term for this sneeze-pee phenomenon: snissing. Must remember to cross legs when I sneeze … and perhaps start doing some more pelvic floor exercises.

I know I sound super complainy, but really, I just have to laugh at myself a little. I’m not even halfway done with this pregnancy, and it’s only going to get worse, so I might as well roll with it. And to be honest, after everything we’ve been through, I’m just so grateful to be pregnant, that I’ll take whatever discomforts are thrown at me, snissing included.

health & body, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

18 weeks.

December 3, 2012December 3, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

Today I am 18 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Almost halfway done, which is hard to believe. We had a doctor appointment last Monday, which went really well. I had mentioned previously that I was worried that maybe I wasn’t gaining enough weight, and that I wasn’t showing as much as I should by now. I also haven’t felt anything I can say for sure is movement, though I do still get those was-it-baby-or-was-it-gas flutters. Well, my appointment put all my concerns at ease. First off, I stepped on the scale, and let’s just say it’s apparent the holidays are taking care of the weight gain part! I’m now up about 6 lbs. from my pre-pregnancy weight. My doctor also said my uterus was growing nicely (without me even having to ask) during the exam. We heard a nice strong heartbeat and she said I will probably start feeling the baby move soon. All the baby books and websites say anytime between 16 and 20 weeks is normal to start feeling movement, but it was somehow comforting to hear my doctor say “soon” without just assuming that I had already. Hooray for being normal.

We also got to schedule our anatomy scan for December 11 – just 8 days away now! Originally I thought we’d get to go in for our anatomy scan this week, but my doctor said she would rather I come in around week 19 since the chambers of the heart are more developed by that point, which should give the technician a a more clear picture of whether it’s developing properly. I’m all for more clarity and will happily wait another week if it means less ambiguity. The last thing I’d want would be to come in and be told the heart looks small or underdeveloped, but have them not sure if it’s just because it’s too early to tell or if there is actually something wrong. The less I have to stress about, the better!

With that said, at 18 weeks…

Baby is about 5.5-6 inches long now — about the size of a sweet potato or bell pepper, depending on which website you’re looking at — and is yawning, hiccuping and swallowing away. Baby is also doing a lot of moving and kicking now, which I still have yet to definitively feel. I did feel something last night as I was trying to fall asleep — sort of like a fish flopping around type feeling. I think it might have been baby, but I am looking forward to that first poke or jab where I can say, yep, that was definitely the baby!

Mama is feeling pretty good right now, aside from some persistent sciatic pain. I do notice that I tire more easily, though, and bending over isn’t as easy as it used to be. D and I got our Christmas tree yesterday and I noticed I couldn’t lay on my stomach to get under the tree to tighten the stand. I tried laying on my side, but couldn’t get the right angle and finally had to give up and have D get under there while I held the tree. I felt kind of sick when I woke up this morning, and ended up throwing up when I fed the dogs. It’s strange — I have no nausea 99% of the time, but every now and then it just hits me again out of the blue. Feeling fine now, though.

I do think maybe I’m starting to show more. I snapped a photo in the work bathroom today, and noticed I’m wearing the same outfit as I was in my 15 week update. I think the belly might be poking out a bit more now…

friends & family, health & body, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

15 weeks.

November 12, 2012November 12, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

As of yesterday I am now 15 weeks along in my pregnancy. 25 more to go! Time seems to be going by a little bit faster now. I think getting the doppler was a good decision. I’ve used it twice now, but thankfully I’m not as obsessive about it as I was afraid I’d get. At least so far. The nice thing is that it doesn’t make the 4-5 week stretch between doctor appointments feel as long or daunting. Our next appointment is two weeks away, but it’s nice to feel like I don’t have to wait two weeks to find out if our baby is still okay, which is the feeling I was dealing with previously. Now, if I have any doubts, I can easily check its heartbeat any time I want, and that’s both comforting and puts a little less pressure and worry on the appointment days.

At 15 weeks…

Baby is approximately 4 inches long now – about the size of an apple – and is now busy “breathing” amniotic fluid. Legs are finally longer than its arms, which is making baby look more proportionate. Also, baby can now sense light, and can hear. Super cool. In fact, one of the apps I have on my phone told me that if I shine a flashlight at my belly, baby will probably move away from the light. Is it bad that I’m tempted to pester the kid to see if I can feel it? Most people start feeling movement around 16-18 weeks, but some people feel it as early as 14 weeks. I haven’t felt anything yet…

Mama is maybepossiblyknockonwood starting to feel better? I fed the dogs all weekend and this morning without any gag reactions. Still did gag once in the shower this morning, and full on threw up when I was emptying the food compost container yesterday, but I do think the gagging/barfing episodes are getting fewer and farther between. I think I might be going through a growth spurt, because the hunger has cranked up to nuclear level and I’ve had a LOT of round ligament pain these last couple days. I’m definitely starting to show more. I saw D’s sister, step sister and step mom yesterday and they all commented on my belly.

I met up with a friend for lunch on Saturday and she lent me all her maternity clothes, which is awesome! I also bought myself a couple things this weekend, so I finally feel like I have more to wear that fits me appropriately. Some of the stuff I borrowed is still too big or just looks frumpy without a belly to fill it out, but I’m sure I’ll appreciate that stuff when I’m bigger. I’m wearing a couple of the borrowed items today, including maternity jeans, a maternity top, and then my own cardigan over it. Feeling pretty comfortable. I can already see that it may be hard to give up the elastic band pants after I have the baby!

health & body, musings, pregnancy

Fat, pregnant or can’t tell?

November 8, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

This is the question I have begun asking D every time I get dressed. “Do I look fat, pregnant, or can you tell?” Bless his heart, he usually says “can’t tell” and has never once answered “fat.”

But I can tell. I’m at that super awkward phase where I definitely have more belly, but it’s not obvious that I’m pregnant. In some outfits I really do look pregnant. In others, I just look like I’ve had too many cheeseburgers. And in others it’s hard to tell a difference at all. Ever since I started “showing” (I use that term loosely, since in the beginning it was just bloat, and I’ve been poochy since about 6 weeks), I’ve been leaning more toward the third category: wearing bulky sweaters, loose fitting tops, or shirts with empire waists. And a strategically placed scarf has been my best friend. But you know what? I’m getting sick of wearing the same 5 things over and over again, so lately I’ve been breaking out some of my normal clothes again. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I’m not too worried if someone gives my midsection a second glance. But I’ve come to accept that some items of clothing are going to need to be retired indefinitely because they are just NOT flattering anymore. Each morning is trial and error, averaging about 3 outfit changes. Today I’ve settled on a pink and black striped shirt, that definitely clings to the belly more, but the stripe pattern makes things not quite so obvious from the front, and I slipped a black cardigan over it, which hides the belly from certain angles. You can still see a belly from a side profile, but at least I can wear my belly band underneath, which smooths it out some and makes it look more pregnant and less muffin top. At least, I think…

health & body, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

14 weeks.

November 7, 2012November 8, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

Another week down. Only 26 more to go!

This past week has been a little bit trying for me. Our last appointment was two weeks ago, and we don’t have another one for three more weeks. Time is just crawling by, and I’m still scared of what could go wrong. Even though I know we’re past the riskiest part, I can’t shake the fear of something happening to the baby, and me just walking around oblivious for another three weeks without any clue.

I suppose that’s partially because today is the anniversary of our loss, and that’s what happened last time. Any sort of miscarriage is rough, but when you have a “missed miscarriage” like I did, it adds a whole new level of doubt and insecurity to the pain of losing the baby. For example, I feel fine right now. I feel pregnant. I have no symptoms of anything being wrong. But I didn’t really last time either. In fact, I was still getting morning sickness even after we found out the baby had died. Therefore, I feel insecure. I don’t trust the fact that I feel fine, because how I felt meant nothing last time.

So, I broke down a couple days ago and ordered a fetal doppler. It’s the same type of machine they use in the doctor’s office to check for a heartbeat. Ironically, it’s due to arrive tonight, on the anniversary of finding no heartbeat. I sure hope I can find a heartbeat tonight. I really resisted buying a doppler for the longest time because I didn’t want to drive myself crazy, or give myself anything else to obsess over. I was also afraid that I’d flip out if I couldn’t find the heartbeat easily, or would overanalyze things if it seemed slower than last time. But … I broke down. I couldn’t wait 3 more weeks to know if everything was fine with the baby – especially since I’ll be flying out for a work event the very next day. I don’t even know what I’d do if we got to that appointment and there was no heartbeat. It would be too late to change travel plans, but could I really go on that trip, knowing I had lost another baby? At least this way, best case scenario I get to listen to the heartbeat sooner and I go into our next appointment with no surprises. Worst case scenario, we get our bad news sooner and not just before I have to fly. It’s a horrible way of thinking, but I’ve come to realize this is my new reality. I’ll never get the experience of a blissful carefree pregnancy, and while I know everyone worries to some extent, I know firsthand just how much it hurts to lose a baby and that will forever stay with me.

Wow, that wasn’t very uplifting, was it? Let’s focus on some of the more positive stuff.

At 14 weeks…

Baby is about the size of an orange, and its body is growing to be more and more in more proportion with its head. By the end of the week, its arms should be in proportion to the body too, though the legs still have some growing to do. This week it should be sucking its thumb, wiggling its toes and peeing! Yes, peeing! It’s strange to think that the baby just recycles the amniotic fluid while in utero – swallows it, pees it out and then swallows it again. Sort of gross, but I guess that’s how things work, and it’s good baby is practicing those bodily functions! Baby is also punching and kicking up a storm, even though I can’t feel it yet. I absolutely cannot wait to feel movement. I really think that will help put a lot of my fears at ease.

Mama is about the same. Still haven’t totally stopped being nauseated like everyone says I should be at this point, but at least the majority of the morning sickness seems truly relegated to the morning (unlike the “all day sickness” many pregnant women experience). I do still gag when I smell cigarette smoke, and my appetite is still a little funky, but overall, I’m feeling okay. One interesting symptom I just realized is that I’m very clumsy! We’ve had the same set of dishes since we got married in 2004 and I’ve never broken one, until a couple weeks ago, and now I’ve broken two. I looked it up today and sure enough, clumsiness is a pregnancy symptom. Has to do with hormones and loosening joints or something. Weird.

I’m showing a little bit, but not as much as I thought I would be by now. I kind of wish I was showing more for a couple reasons. One, it would be wonderful to be done with this “is she fat or is she pregnant” stage. I’m looking pretty chubby, even though I’ve only gained maybe a pound so far. More importantly, I think looking pregnant might make me feel more pregnant, and would help to ease my fears some more. I truly do wonder when I’ll reach a point where I’m no longer scared of something going wrong. I’m starting to think that might not be until baby is safe in my arms.

Only 26 more weeks…

11/8 update: I found the heartbeat last night with my new doppler! It took me a few minutes to locate it, as it was lower than I thought it would be, but I found it! Beating away at 161 BPM. What a beautiful sound. 🙂

friends & family, health & body, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

13 weeks.

October 30, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

I’m a couple days late on this week’s update. Things are going pretty much the same as last week, other than being out in the open now! Yep, after a great 12 week checkup last week, we came out to everyone, including work. That went better than I expected. I knew my boss and coworkers would be happy for me on a personal level, but I was worried about how they’d take the news from a professional standpoint, since the elephant in the room of any workplace pregnancy announcement is the upcoming maternity leave, and I work for a very small company. But they were really happy for me – hugs all around, and they’ve been joking around with me and asking questions about how I’m doing. We also came out on Facebook this week, with the following photo:

It was both terrifying and liberating to do so, and it was so nice to read everyone’s “congrats” and “you’ll make great parents” comments. One thing that stung was that a few people posted stuff like “it’s about time.” Yes, I know we waited a while to start our family (we’ve been married for 8 and a half years), but it’s not like we just snapped our fingers yesterday and it happened, either. We’ve been through the toughest year in our lives, between the miscarriage and having trouble conceiving since. I know people who made those comments meant well (they don’t know what we’ve been through), but it stung nonetheless.

But now, onto week 13…

Baby is now the size of a lemon. I’m starting to get annoyed at some of the fruit comparisons. I mean, is a lemon really larger than a plum? It all seems pretty subjective! Either way, baby is moving almost constantly at this point, though I won’t be able to feel it for a few more weeks. I am so looking forward to that! Baby is also growing hair this week – on its head, eyebrows, and a fine layer all over its body called lanugo, that will mostly be gone by the time its born. Baby also has its own set of fingerprints now, which is kind of cool, and the head is in better proportion to the body — about a third of its body size now, compared to half, which it was just last week.

Mama is feeling about the same. All the books and websites say nausea should be starting to subside, but I haven’t seen any signs of that yet, unfortunately. I do think I’m starting to feel a bit more energetic, though. I went to a prenatal yoga class for the first time last weekend and loved it! Unfortunately, I won’t be able to go this weekend since I’m meeting a friend for brunch (who I just found out also happens to be expecting!), but I’m looking forward to hopefully making prenatal yoga a regular occurrence. I’ve started experiencing sciatic pain, and I’m hoping yoga will help that. I’m definitely starting to show more, and my brother even commented on it a few days ago. I mostly just look fatter, so I’m definitely looking forward to the day that it’s obvious there’s a baby in there and not cheeseburgers. Interestingly, despite my chunkier appearance, I still haven’t seen a change on the scale. Not that I’m complaining – there is still plenty of time for weight gain!

13weeks — Belly shot just before yoga class. Pardon the no makeup and bed head.

health & body, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

12 weeks.

October 22, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

Wow. I never thought I’d make it to 12 weeks! We had our doctor’s appointment this morning, and everything went great. We heard the heartbeat for the first time, which was the most beautiful sound at 150 beats per minute. We opted out of getting the nuchal translucency scan/first trimester screening, for reasons I’ll go into in another post, and our doctor was very supportive of our decision. Overall I feel really good about things, so now we get to let the cat out of the bag – yikes!

At 12 weeks…

Baby now has reflexes — if I poke my belly, my baby will wiggle in response, even though I can’t feel it yet. (resisting the urge to pester my son/daughter…) He/she can also make fists, curl toes, squint and grimace. Also, the intestines, which have been too large for its belly and living partially in the umbilical cord, will start migrating to the abdomen this week. Kidneys will also start producing urine. Baby is about the size of a small plum this week.

Mama should be starting to feel better, according to most books and websites. Um, yeah right. Morning sickness has gotten worse, actually. I still get frequent headaches, and my allergies are out of control too. I think some of the bloat from early pregnancy may be subsiding, though I still have a small hard raised portion in my lower abdomen, and a bit of a squishy belly/spare tire thing going on above that, which I’m assuming is my guts getting pushed out of the way by my growing ute, which is about the size of a small melon already. Definitely just look like I had too many cheeseburgers, even though I haven’t seen any change on the scale yet.

I feel like I can finally breathe a little. I am still scared of something going wrong, but I know the odds are in our favor at this point, and now that we’re starting to tell people, it feels real, like this might actually happen! We told D’s dad today, we’ll tell his mom tomorrow night at dinner, and I’ll tell work tomorrow morning – yikes! I’m super nervous about that part!

Image via alphamom.com

health & body, house, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

11 weeks.

October 15, 2012October 15, 2012 Keeping up with the Hoffmans

11 weeks! With each passing week, I can hardly believe I’ve made this this far. Just one more week until our 12 week appointment, and if everything goes well, we’ll let the cat out of the bag after that. I’m both excited and nervous about being “out,” though it’s going to be hard to hide it much longer. I am actually starting to look pregnant, which is crazy.

At 11 weeks…

Baby is about the size of a small lime or a fig. About 1.5-2 inches long. This week its hands will begin to open and close and form fists, and tooth buds will start to grow in the gums. The baby’s diaphragm is also forming this week, which means baby can start getting hiccups! How cute. What’s really exciting is that baby looks like a baby now, and doesn’t look so alien anymore. Everything should be in place by the end of this week, and then we just spend the next 29 weeks growing and refining.

Mama is getting bigger! As I said above, I am actually starting to look pregnant. I can now feel something hard and bulbous in my lower abdomen, which I am assuming is my uterus. Above that, just below my belly button is where everything is starting to stick out, though. I think that’s all my guts that have been displaced by my growing ute.

I have this iPhone app from BabyCenter that gives me a daily summary of what’s going on, and today’s said that I may start feeling more energetic and nausea may be fading. Not sure about the nausea part, as I’m still gagging in the mornings, but I did feel the sudden urge to paint the kitchen cabinets this weekend! I removed all the doors and hardware Saturday night, and spent all day yesterday sanding and priming the cabinet frames (with a mask, of course). It’s going to be about a two week project from start to finish, so hopefully this newfound energy lasts and I don’t lose steam!