Category: pregnancy, week-by-week

It’s bittersweet to be starting the weekly posts again, considering the last time I wrote one of these was at 8 weeks, just two days before our world came crashing down around us. This time around I’m not going to be taking weekly photos just yet. One, because there’s really no point this early as it’s just all bloat; and two, because it’s just too painful to remember the last time I was taking those. Maybe at 9 weeks I’ll start including photos, since we didn’t make it that far last time.

Okay, here we go again…

At 4 weeks…

Baby is the size of a poppyseed and is already starting to grow organs and hair!

Mama is tired, bloated, emotional and nauseated. A new symptom this time around is a persistent headache, which is super annoying. The nausea has come on a lot stronger sooner this time too. I don’t think I actually threw up until around 5 weeks last time. This time I started throwing up once or twice a day right away, starting with the night of the first maybe-positive pregnancy test. Similar to last time, the smell of dog food makes me hurl and I can’t stomach coffee anymore. My allergies have also been out of control, and I’ve been too paranoid to take my Zyrtec, even though it’s supposedly okay to take. I have a lot of cramps, which I’ve read is just your uterus preparing to stretch, but still has me paranoid Aunt Flo is about to come and crash the party. In short, I’ve been feeling like crap these last few days… but I wouldn’t change it for the world! One thing I would change, though, is this nasty cold I’ve come down with over the last couple days! I even think I may have been running a slight fever last night as I was hot and cold all night.

I had my betas drawn on Thursday and Saturday – the first draw was 27 and the second draw was 63. So they’re more than doubling, which is a good sign, but I’m still so afraid of every little thing. They didn’t/wouldn’t check progesterone like I thought they were going to, so hopefully that’s not an issue. I’ve gone a couple days now without actually throwing up, but I don’t know if that’s because the nausea has subsided a bit or if I’m making a bigger effort to hold it back (my throat was SOO raw a few days ago from the daily vomiting). I’m so paranoid about everything at this point. 32 days until our first ultrasound… it cannot come soon enough!

Week 8

How big is baby? The size of a raspberry (or kidney bean, depending on which website you’re looking at)

Milestones this week: This week, baby is growing fingers and toes (just last week he/she grew arms and legs). Baby is also growing eyelids, which nearly cover its eyes by now, and its “tail” is just about gone. What’s super exciting is that the baby should be moving a lot this week, even though I won’t feel it for another couple months (hopefully we’ll get to see it on the ultrasound Monday, though!).

Symptoms: Getting more and more bloated. I can’t wait until it’s actually a baby bump and not this “blump” nonsense. You may notice, I’m wearing different pants in this week’s photo than in previous ones. I had planned to wear the same outfit for all of my weekly pictures, but my black yoga pants were already getting kind of tight, so I decided to switch to a pair that have a better shot of lasting me for a while longer! Interestingly, I’m still down a couple pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. So while I’m eating more and looking pudgier around the middle, I’m not actually gaining any weight. Seems odd, but I’m not complaining. There’s plenty of time for weight gain.

I’m still trying to be smart about what I eat, but every once in a while (two weekends in a row), Taco Time just sounds really good! Still having aversions to sweets, besides fruit/yogurt. Loving: celery and peanut butter, cheese and pickles, tomatoes and mozzarella, vegetables of any kind. Nausea inducers still include walking and dog food, as well as opening the refrigerator or taking out the garbage. Oh, and an empty stomach. I’ve been throwing up nearly every morning, when I don’t actually have anything in my stomach to throw up. Threw up at work just once, but luckily I was already in the restroom when it came on suddenly. I’ve been keeping saltines in my desk and snacking on those throughout the day, which seems to help some. Unfortunately, the candied ginger I bought in the beginning completely repulses me now. Too bad, since ginger is supposed to be a natural anti-nauseate.

What I miss: Honestly, not a lot at this point, except maybe some of my wardrobe I’ve had to retire already. But for the most part, I’m not looking back so much as I am looking forward. Which brings me to…

What I’m looking forward to: Monday. MondayMondayMondayMonday. Our first appointment and ultrasound is MONDAY. Just two days away. I’m so nervous, scared and excited, all at the same time. Mostly excited. I can’t wait to finally see our little nugget and see the heartbeat and feel some reassurance that everything is fine.

Other stuff: 19 days until we tell my parents on Thanksgiving. After that we will tell D’s parents, our friends and then I’ll tell work the next week after I’ve had my second ultrasound. By December, the cat should be fully out of the bag!

Happy Halloween! I’m a day late on my weekly Saturday updates, but here I am, 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Just one more week until our appointment and it cannot come soon enough!

Week 7

How big is baby? The size of a blueberry.

Milestones this week: This week, baby is starting to grow hands and feet! It still has a tail, but that’s about to start getting smaller, while everything else gets bigger – in fact, the baby has doubled in size just since last week!

Symptoms: On a scary note, some more spotting early last week. There wasn’t a lot of it, and it wasn’t bright red – both signs of something more troubling – but it’s enough to make me worry. As I mentioned earlier, our appointment cannot come soon enough. I just want to know that everything is fine, our baby is growing as it should and that its little heart is beating strong. Chances of miscarriage go down dramatically after seeing the heartbeat, though I have a feeling I won’t totally relax until he or she is here. And then, of course, I enter a whole new realm of worry. I suppose I should start getting used to it! Welcome to motherhood, right?

Other than that, I’m still feeling queasy off and on throughout the day, sometimes worse than others. And my boobs are killing me still, sometimes worse than others. I’ve had to start sleeping with a body pillow to keep me totally on my side, since I’m used to sleeping sort of three quarters on my side/stomach, and that’s just not comfortable anymore. Unfortunately the body pillow takes up a lot of room in the bed and it’s feeling kind of crowded in there already. I can only imagine how crowded it will feel once I have a giant belly. Time to upgrade to a king size bed, perhaps?

What I miss: I still miss being honest with people, but I’m almost starting to have fun with the secret now – particularly the thrill of getting away with being sneaky about not drinking! It’s something that stressed me out a lot in the beginning because I was sure it would blow my cover, but now I’m sort of proud at how creative I’ve gotten with hiding it. So for now, I don’t miss a whole lot. I guess I sort of miss feeling normal and like myself, but every wave of nausea or bout of fatigue just reminds me of the baby I’m growing. So for now I’d say I’m pretty content.

What I’m looking forward to: The appointment, the appointment, the appointment! I’m also looking forward to having a real baby bump, instead of this “blump” I have going on now (bloat). I just look chubby right now.

Other stuff: Went to a Halloween party last night as Mia Wallace and Vince Vega from Pulp Fiction. The costumes were a hit and I don’t think anyone noticed I wasn’t drinking. I went ahead and got a cup of beer from the keg but just carried it around with me the whole night and D took sips from it every now and then so it wasn’t full the whole time. And then of course, as the night wore on, I had the excuse of being the designated driver, so it wasn’t strange for me to quit drinking earlier in the night. On the way home, I got a horrible case of “morning sickness” (the dumbest name ever, by the way, since it can strike any time of the day). Almost had to pull the car over and puke, but I made it home. I can only imagine how THAT would have looked – puking out the driver’s side of the car in a Halloween costume. No, officer, I swear I haven’t been drinking!

As of yesterday I am officially six weeks pregnant. Halfway done with the first trimester… well, sort of, considering the two freebie weeks in the beginning. This week has felt similar to last, only… more. More nauseated, more bloated, more emotional.

Week 6

How big is baby? The size of a sweet pea (or a lentil, depending on which website you’re reading).

Milestones this week: Baby is starting to form a nose, mouth and ears – it has a FACE! Holy crap. Arms and legs are also starting to protrude, but at this point are still just little nubs. It’s morphing from a tadpole shape to something that resembles more of a shrimp, but, you know… with nubs. The heart should be beating about 100 to 160 times per minute, which is about twice the rate of a grown person’s. The intestine and lungs are forming, as are the rest of the brain, muscles and bones. Wow, that’s a lot in one week!

Symptoms: Ugh. As I mentioned earlier, similar to last week, only worse. The nausea has turned into actual puking nearly every morning in the shower – or rather, I would be puking if there was anything in my stomach. And the bloating? I thought last week was bad, but clearly it’s gotten worse. Believe it or not, I am sucking in my stomach as best I can in the photo above and I still look way pudgier than last week’s photo. It’s not quite a baby bump yet, since the actual baby isn’t what’s making it pooch. It’s just bloat. A blump, if you will.

Something that scared me a little earlier in the week was the tiniest bit of spotting. It wasn’t much at all, and I know some spotting is considered normal, but it was enough to freak me out a little, since I also know spotting can be the first sign of miscarriage. So naturally, I got a little emotional about it.

Speaking of emotional, I also may or may not have had a complete waterworks meltdown in the kitchen last night because D gets to go out and drink with his friends and I have to keep blowing mine off and making excuses because it’s too hard to be inconspicuous. Not to mention my boobs are sore and I’m queasy all the time and his life isn’t affected for another eight months and why can’t he be more supportive?! And then of course, I started laughing at myself, because I knew how ridiculous I sounded but still couldn’t stop the tears. Yeah, I’m a mess.

What I miss: Again, being honest with people. I’m tired of turning down happy hours or making excuses for why I can’t go to the football game tonight. Yes, I realize I could still just go, but everyone is tailgating ahead of time and it would be way too obvious if I wasn’t drinking.

What I’m looking forward to: Our first appointment! I just want to see the heartbeat and know everything is okay. I’m still terrified every day of losing this baby, and I know the chances of miscarriage go down dramatically after seeing the heartbeat. 16 more days…

Other stuff: I went to a baby shower today – first one since finding out we’re pregnant. Definitely did a lot more paying attention to gifts and making mental notes. A friend admitted to me that she and her husband had “pulled the goalie” and I told her we had too. I didn’t let her know we had, in fact, been successful already, but it felt good to admit at least part of the story to someone.

Five weeks until we can tell everyone, for real. Can’t come soon enough.

I am now five weeks pregnant, and it feels like time is just CRAWLING. It’s hard to believe it’s only been a little over a week since we found out. We still have three weeks to go until our first appointment and ultrasound, and six weeks until we plan to tell people. Not a lot of change since last week, but here we go…

Week 5

How big is baby? The size of an appleseed. Still tiny, but from poppyseed to appleseed in one week is a lot of growth, relatively speaking!

Milestones this week: Baby no longer looks like a ball of cells, but resembles a tadpole at this stage, and is now developing the neural tube, which will eventually become the brain, spinal cord, nerves and backbone. This week, its tiny heart will begin to divide into chambers and will beat and pump blood! BLOOD. In-sane. The placenta and umbilical cord are in place now, ready to deliver nourishment and oxygen.

Symptoms: Holy bloat. I have already had to retire any tight shirts, except those worn under bulkier sweaters. I start off the day with a normal pre-pregnancy sized belly and by the end of the day, my pants are so tight and I feel like a Pudgy McFatty. Sweat pants are my new best friend, and must be immediately changed into upon returning home from work.

My boobs are so sore I can’t sleep on my stomach anymore. The tiniest bit of movement is excruciating, to the point where I have to hold onto them if I’m walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night. May have to start sleeping in a bra soon.

Speaking of middle of the night, the nighttime bathroom trips have increased in frequency, and now not only do I wake up having to pee, but I’m hungry as well. And hunger = nausea these days. Double-whammy. I tried to ignore the hunger for the first few nights, but it got to a point where the hunger and subsequent nausea were so intense they were keeping me up. So the last couple nights I’ve also had to indulge in a midnight snack, just so I could get back to sleep. Thankfully, the eating does make me sleep more soundly and I tend to wake up less to pee after I’ve had a snack.

Still drawn to healthy foods for the most part, but the midnight snack (which is usually a few saltines or tortilla chips) means that I can probably kiss that tiny bit of weight loss I experienced goodbye. But I’m okay with that. It’s probably for the best anyway.

One thing I’ve noticed that’s a bit concerning this week is that my nausea tends to come and go. Not that I enjoy being nauseated, but when it goes away, I start to worry that something may be wrong. I think I will probably be a basket case until we can get that first ultrasound and see the heartbeat in three weeks. The miscarriage rate for early pregnancies is somewhere around 20-30%, but that drops to just 3% after seeing the heartbeat.

What I miss: Sleep! And being honest with people.

What I’m looking forward to: The first appointment/seeing the heartbeat. And telling people!

Other stuff: Had a get together with my girlfriends today. We went to go see our friend’s new baby at her house. It was so good to be with the girls again, but so hard not to tell them! I had stressed out about what to do if we had drinks at this get together. I finally decided that I would go ahead and accept a drink, but just not drink it. If someone noticed and called me out on it, I’d come clean. We really don’t want to tell people yet – especially since we haven’t even told our parents! – but I wasn’t about to lie to my best friends, either. Thankfully, either no one noticed that my drink went untouched or if they did, they didn’t think anything of it. I had mentioned to them that I thought I may be coming down with a cold (which is true), so maybe they just chalked my not drinking up to not feeling well. I was sad I couldn’t hold the baby, but I didn’t want to get him sick with his fragile little immune system. So I frequently reapplied hand sanitizer and kept my distance. A bunch of the girls were going out to a bar later to watch the Coug game, but I decided to go home to rest. Maybe I’ll take a nap to make up for the lack of sleep I got last night.

Mmm… sleep.

As of yesterday, I am officially four weeks along. I’m still not used to the fact that they calculate gestational age starting from the first day of your last period, because you don’t even ovulate for about two weeks after that. So while I’ve only actually *been pregnant* for about two weeks, I’m considered four weeks along, per medical industry terminology. Weird. At any rate, I thought I would start a weekly tradition of doing a week-by-week update each Saturday, to track progress, symptoms and milestones.

Without further ado…

Week 4

 How big is baby? The size of a poppyseed.

Milestones this week: This week marks the beginning of the embryonic period. Our baby is starting to grow organs. ORGANS. As in, the beginnings of its nervous system, gastrointestinal tract, pancreas, liver, thyroid, skeleton, blood system, muscles and hair. Yes, HAIR. All on a teeny tiny poppyseed.

Symptoms: A little bit of bloat, but stomach is still relatively flat. The poppyseed itself isn’t taking up much room yet, but I have heard the bloat starts early on, which can make you look farther along than you actually are. Oh goody. I’ve also had some cramping, which is a little nerve-wracking, as it feels like I’m about to start my period, but I have read that your uterus cramps and contracts in preparation for stretching about 500 times its normal size (!!!!). Other than that, my boobs are noticeably bigger and really sore and I have some heartburn and a little nausea that come and go. So far the main nausea triggers seem to be coffee, hunger (I’m hungry constantly) and the smell of dog food. The dog food is by far the worst offender, and was one of my first clues that I may be pregnant. I haven’t thrown up yet, but the morning dog feedings have repeatedly sent me running and gagging to the sink with my hand over my mouth. I’m thinking maybe D will need to take over dog feedings. Too bad he’s out of town this weekend so I’m on my own. Thankfully, despite the fact that I’m hungry often, my appetite seems smaller. I also seem to be drawn to healthier foods and have been eating salads nearly every day. Let’s hope this keeps up!

What I miss: Not having to keep secrets from everyone. This is much harder than I thought it would be. We have decided not to tell people until we’re at least close to the second trimester, and have plans to tell our parents at Thanksgiving, followed by friends a couple days later. I will admit, we have broken our self-imposed rule and told one person each. One of my friends knew we were trying and flat out asked me (I just couldn’t lie!) and D felt like he just needed to tell someone so he confided in a friend who has recently been through this and would understand the need to keep things secret. But our plan is to not tell anyone else until we’re further along and the risk of miscarrying isn’t so high. The last thing I would want is to live through the agony and heartbreak that alone would bring… and then have to relive it by telling everyone that we lost the baby… and then relive it again every time someone who hadn’t heard about the loss asks how things are going. As of now, if worse comes to worst, we will have two people to tell, one of whom has been through a loss and would certainly understand. Tonight I have a friend’s birthday celebration to attend at a bar, and will have to be sneaky about not drinking. Actually, I found out this bar carries non-alcoholic beer, so hopefully I should be able to fly under the radar with a fake drink in my hand.

What I’m looking forward to: Telling people!! I’m also looking forward to this feeling more real. Every once in a while, it hits me that – holy crap – I am actually pregnant. It feels like a dream. I will admit something kind of gross – I haven’t thrown away the home pregnancy test yet. Yes, I realize I peed on this stick, and it’s kind of nasty to keep around, but a couple of times a day, I will look at it and reaffirm to myself that yes, there are indeed two lines on the test! I also may have taken a second test yesterday, but am going to refrain from continuing to do that. No need to torture myself. Knowing me, I’d hallucinate that the line was somehow getting lighter and that my pregnancy was doomed or something.

Other stuff: D has been incredibly sweet lately. I love the guy, but I will be the first to admit, he is not as open with his feelings most days as I would like. Something has changed in him, though, and he just has been acting much more affectionate these past couple days and saying “I love you” more. And this morning, he actually told me to drive more safely. I told him I was just driving how I normally do (which I will admit, is fast), and he mentioned something about how I should start driving more safely now. I joked with him that he never cared before when it was just me. Okay, honey. I promise. I will slow down, now that I am carrying your child.