The best laid plans…

As I mentioned previously, since we had my IUD removed a month earlier than planned, we were going to be careful for a month before trying. Well… let’s just say we weren’t very diligent about that plan just once, and that “just once” ended up being on the day I ovulated. What do they say about the best laid plans again? Anyway, here I am, 6 days post-ovulation, wondering… could I be? No way. Maybe? Highly unlikely. But still possible. On the one hand, if we had been trying, the timing would have been great. But on the other hand, due to my short luteal phase, I’m fully anticipating this taking a while. Besides, who gets pregnant on the first month, anyway, let alone the first “time?” It takes the average healthy couple 6 months, and I know many who have tried for much longer.

It doesn’t help that I’m an admitted hypochondriac. I’m seriously over-analyzing every potential symptom, logically knowing that even IF I were, it would probably be too early to be exhibiting symptoms, anyway (although a blogger I occasionally follow got a positive pregnancy test at 6 DPO). I promised myself I wouldn’t over-analyze, yet here I am. Again, best laid plans, right?

Admittedly, most of my “symptoms” are similar to what I feel each month as my period is approaching. Mother Nature is a cruel beast, as the same hormone that surges when you are pregnant (Progesterone) is also what dominates your luteal phase as you approach your period, so the symptoms can be nearly identical. However, the one thing I’ve never experienced before that I just noticed this morning is a sudden heightened sense of smell. For some reason when I came downstairs this morning to feed the dogs, I got a whiff of what smelled distinctly like urine (eeewww). The dogs are both housetrained and we have brand new carpet, so I have no idea where it was coming from, but there it was. I also felt a little nauseated later this morning, but admittedly that was after I started to obsessively over-analyze the smell issue. The mind can be very powerful and I am trying to keep a level head about this, knowing that once I psych myself into thinking I have symptoms I will likely start noticing even more.

So, to keep myself sane until Wednesday (when my period will either have arrived or be officially late), I’m making a list of all the things I have to look forward to if I’m not knocked up. In theory, whether I am or not, I’ll be excited, right? Either excited to have literally gotten pregnant on the first try and to not have to go through the stress that months (or years) of trying can bring… or excited for the following:

  1. My future sister-in-law’s bachelorette party on the 17th, followed by my brother’s wedding on the 24th. The wedding was originally one of our primary reasons to wait until September. As I mentioned before, me at a social event without a drink in my hand is highly suspect — especially at a bachelorette party where the entire event pretty much revolves around booze. I would have to pull off some pretty sneaky stuff to fake drinking that night and not raise suspicions (we won’t be sharing the news with anyone until we’re out of the first trimester).
  2. Also booze-related: drinking one of our special bottles of wine. We have a couple nice bottles that we’ve been saving for a special occasion. I think this journey we’re about to embark upon is pretty much the epitome of a special occasion. And since we can’t exactly toast to a positive pregnancy test, it would be nice to share one last nice bottle of wine before giving it up for 9 months (or longer, depending on breastfeeding). Plus, one of our nice bottles is called “Penetration” from the Naked Winery where we went on my 30th birthday. Fitting, yeah? (giggle)
  3. Hot yoga. I bought some Groupon deals for hot yoga and still have 19 sessions left to use up. They expire in a year. Exercise is safe during pregnancy, but hot yoga raises your body’s temperature, which is a no-no. Same reason pregnant women should avoid hot tubs. So I’m hoping to use up some of those sessions prior to getting knocked up. It would also be great to lose a couple pounds and get in better shape NOW (to make getting back in shape after delivery easier). So if this turns out to not be our month, I’ll make it my personal mission to use up as many of those hot yoga sessions as I can, while I can.
  4. More time to get house stuff done — specifically, the second bathroom we’re planning to add. One of the main reasons for adding the bathroom in the first place was because I don’t want to be falling down the stairs in the middle of the night once I’m getting up multiple times to pee. From what my friends have told me, that starts only a few weeks in. If this is our month, I’ll have to be careful when going up and down the stairs, but at least I won’t be so big I can’t see my feet for a quite a while. Still not ideal, though, so if it isn’t our month, we’ll have more time to get the bathroom done before I really need it. Plus, I’ll probably be more help building the actual bathroom, if I’m not so worried about fumes or dust or heavy lifting.
  5. Work. That may sound like a strange thing to look forward to, but hear me out. Work has been a bit slow lately, and I’ve been at my current job less than a year. Consequently, I don’t feel like I’ve been able to really prove what I can do. I’m just sort of plugging away, and while I’m not doing anything wrong, I don’t feel like I’m wowing anyone, either. I had hoped to achieve that wow factor before announcing that I’ll be leaving for a while. Even though I am fully planning on coming back to work after maternity leave, the reality is, I will still be taking a large chunk of time off. While I know my coworkers will be happy for me, I also know that leaving for a significant amount of time puts a bit of a burden on those left behind, especially in a small company like ours. Another month or two would give me a bigger window to reach certain accomplishments and better solidify my value. Ugh, why do men have it so easy? I know D doesn’t lie awake at night wondering how a baby will affect his career.

So there’s my list for now: booze, more booze, yoga, house and work. That’s a lot to look forward to if this isn’t our month. And if next month isn’t our month either, then I’ll probably make another list. I think giving myself something to look forward to each cycle will help keep me sane, upbeat and distracted from the wait.

Now, I have a headache. Resisting the urge to google whether that’s a pregnancy symptom…

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One response

  1. I am REALLY enjoying your blog. Too much. Like a good book, it’s hard to “put down.” I MUST get something done and come back to it later . . .

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