musings, pre-pregnancy

Baby, baby, baby, ohhh…

Ha ha… now you have Justin Bieber going around your head. Actually, now I do too. Dammit.

Welcome to the Hoffman family blog, currently in private beta. In other words, I’m talking to myself right now. Eventually this will be a place for family and friends to keep up with what’s happening in our lives – and by that time I’ll have a nice backlog of content for them to read through – but between now and then I’ll be using this as a means to vent some things we aren’t sharing with anyone yet.

Like the fact that we are talking about having a baby (gulp).

Wow, just writing that down, my hands got all clammy and my heart started to race. If I’ll be completely honest, the idea of having a baby scares the crap out of me. I worry about whether we have enough money. I worry about whether our house is big enough. I worry about balancing family and career. I worry about how our dogs will handle it. I worry about how it’ll affect our marriage. I worry about how it’ll affect our friendships/social life. I worry about passing along all my faults and flaws. I worry about BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. Therapists stay in business because of parents who eff up their kids. I don’t want to be responsible for my child ending up in therapy some day.

Looking at my previous paragraph, it appears having a kid is a terrible idea. But there’s still something in me that simply wants needs a baby. I suppose that’s the proverbial biological clock? But in all honesty, I think we’re almost ready. We’ve been married seven years. We own our own home. We both have good, stable careers and good health insurance.

So the tentative plan is to start trying later this year, but not before my brother’s wedding in September. I’m in the wedding, so I don’t want to try before and risk not fitting the dress that’s already been ordered. I also want to be able to kick back (read: booze it up) at the bachelorette party. I have another good friend getting married around that time as well, and the idea of going to a wedding and not drinking just doesn’t sound like much fun. Not to mention we don’t plan on telling anyone until we’re at least close to the second trimester and if you know me, you know that me without a drink in my hand at a social event = très suspicious. If we have any hope of keeping this thing a secret the first 2-3 months, we’ll need to make it past summer festivities and wedding season.

Oh, baby…

Image courtesy of Safe Baby Handling Tips (my new favorite baby shower gift). I though this was appropriate, considering I take credit for crate training my niece.

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