8 weeks.

This is as far as we made it last time, and I’m terrified. Actually, technically, the baby didn’t live past 7 weeks, but my last weekly update last time was at 8 weeks, just a couple days before we got our bad news. I know the odds are in our favor now that we’ve had one ultrasound and seen the heartbeat, but I am still terrified of getting bad news at our first official appointment on Friday. Four more days… can I make it?

At 8 weeks…

Baby is the size of a raspberry or a kidney bean. He/she is growing webbed fingers and toes this week, in addition to eyelids, breathing tubes and lungs. The tail is almost completely gone, and the brain continues to develop, beginning to form the most basic neural pathways. Baby should also be moving quite a bit by now, even though I won’t be able to feel it for several more weeks.

Mama is still tired and nauseated with sore boobs and the occasional headache. It’s the new normal, I guess. The nausea comes and goes, though it got so bad last week that I actually got sick at work three times in one day! Hasn’t been that bad since, though. Mostly I just get waves that come and go throughout the day, which is tolerable. I went to go get measured for a new bra this weekend and I’m already up a full cup size! Holy cow. The girls are going to be giant by the time baby gets here. I had dinner with a couple friends on Saturday night, one of whom just had a baby two months ago and is still nursing. I couldn’t help but comment to her on how huge her boobs were! You know you’re good friends when you can talk about each other’s boobs freely, right?

Speaking of that dinner with friends, I spilled the beans to them, which felt good. My friend brought over champagne to celebrate the other friend’s birthday and when I declined the champagne, they just knew. They were very excited, but I made them promise to keep it a secret.

Four more days until we can have some more reassurance, though I wish I could say there would be a definitive point I’d stop being so scared. At least getting past our last loss milestone should help, I think.

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