health & body, TTC after loss

It’s baaaack…

Yep, it’s the mind fetus again (as mentioned here and here).

This time it’s more convincing than ever, and it’s taking me every ounce of willpower not to take a test, but it’s still probably too early so I am hoping to wait a few more days. So what’s so different about this time? First of all, I woke up this morning around 5:30 a.m. completely STARVING. I’m never hungry in the mornings, though when I was pregnant, I was hungry every time I woke up. Then, I got up and when I went to feed the dogs, I started gagging and dry heaving from the smell of dog food. Again, only time that’s ever happened was last time I was pregnant! Oh, and to top it off, once I got into the office, I just could not make myself drink my coffee – it just sounded really terrible to me. Another thing that’s only happened to me during pregnancy.

Argh. I’m driving myself crazy. I’m only about 8 or 9 days past ovulation, which is still probably too early to test, and if it’s too early to test, it’s too early to be having symptoms. Did you hear that, self? If it’s too early to test, it’s too early to be having symptoms. Yet, I can’t just ignore what I’m feeling, because it’s very real. On the other hand, the mind is a powerful thing, and I’m sure it’s possible that on some subconscious level, I could be willing myself into these symptoms just because I want to be pregnant again so badly.

Needless to say, time will be crawling by until next Wednesday, which is the date I’m aiming to hold off on testing for. 5 more days. Can I do this?

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