Category: pregnancy

health & body, pregnancy, pregnancy, week-by-week

Week 4 update

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

As of yesterday, I am officially four weeks along. I’m still not used to the fact that they calculate gestational age starting from the first day of your last period, because you don’t even ovulate for about two weeks after that. So while I’ve only actually *been pregnant* for about two weeks, I’m considered four weeks along, per medical industry terminology. Weird. At any rate, I thought I would start a weekly tradition of doing a week-by-week update each Saturday, to track progress, symptoms and milestones.

Without further ado…

Week 4

 How big is baby? The size of a poppyseed.

Milestones this week: This week marks the beginning of the embryonic period. Our baby is starting to grow organs. ORGANS. As in, the beginnings of its nervous system, gastrointestinal tract, pancreas, liver, thyroid, skeleton, blood system, muscles and hair. Yes, HAIR. All on a teeny tiny poppyseed.

Symptoms: A little bit of bloat, but stomach is still relatively flat. The poppyseed itself isn’t taking up much room yet, but I have heard the bloat starts early on, which can make you look farther along than you actually are. Oh goody. I’ve also had some cramping, which is a little nerve-wracking, as it feels like I’m about to start my period, but I have read that your uterus cramps and contracts in preparation for stretching about 500 times its normal size (!!!!). Other than that, my boobs are noticeably bigger and really sore and I have some heartburn and a little nausea that come and go. So far the main nausea triggers seem to be coffee, hunger (I’m hungry constantly) and the smell of dog food. The dog food is by far the worst offender, and was one of my first clues that I may be pregnant. I haven’t thrown up yet, but the morning dog feedings have repeatedly sent me running and gagging to the sink with my hand over my mouth. I’m thinking maybe D will need to take over dog feedings. Too bad he’s out of town this weekend so I’m on my own. Thankfully, despite the fact that I’m hungry often, my appetite seems smaller. I also seem to be drawn to healthier foods and have been eating salads nearly every day. Let’s hope this keeps up!

What I miss: Not having to keep secrets from everyone. This is much harder than I thought it would be. We have decided not to tell people until we’re at least close to the second trimester, and have plans to tell our parents at Thanksgiving, followed by friends a couple days later. I will admit, we have broken our self-imposed rule and told one person each. One of my friends knew we were trying and flat out asked me (I just couldn’t lie!) and D felt like he just needed to tell someone so he confided in a friend who has recently been through this and would understand the need to keep things secret. But our plan is to not tell anyone else until we’re further along and the risk of miscarrying isn’t so high. The last thing I would want is to live through the agony and heartbreak that alone would bring… and then have to relive it by telling everyone that we lost the baby… and then relive it again every time someone who hadn’t heard about the loss asks how things are going. As of now, if worse comes to worst, we will have two people to tell, one of whom has been through a loss and would certainly understand. Tonight I have a friend’s birthday celebration to attend at a bar, and will have to be sneaky about not drinking. Actually, I found out this bar carries non-alcoholic beer, so hopefully I should be able to fly under the radar with a fake drink in my hand.

What I’m looking forward to: Telling people!! I’m also looking forward to this feeling more real. Every once in a while, it hits me that – holy crap – I am actually pregnant. It feels like a dream. I will admit something kind of gross – I haven’t thrown away the home pregnancy test yet. Yes, I realize I peed on this stick, and it’s kind of nasty to keep around, but a couple of times a day, I will look at it and reaffirm to myself that yes, there are indeed two lines on the test! I also may have taken a second test yesterday, but am going to refrain from continuing to do that. No need to torture myself. Knowing me, I’d hallucinate that the line was somehow getting lighter and that my pregnancy was doomed or something.

Other stuff: D has been incredibly sweet lately. I love the guy, but I will be the first to admit, he is not as open with his feelings most days as I would like. Something has changed in him, though, and he just has been acting much more affectionate these past couple days and saying “I love you” more. And this morning, he actually told me to drive more safely. I told him I was just driving how I normally do (which I will admit, is fast), and he mentioned something about how I should start driving more safely now. I joked with him that he never cared before when it was just me. Okay, honey. I promise. I will slow down, now that I am carrying your child.

pregnancy

Inconceivable!

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

Wow. Wowowowowow… Holy crap. No way!

Yep, what you’re looking at above is a positive pregnancy test. It’s a faint second line, but it’s most definitely a line. Wow. I woke up a little earlier this morning since D is sick and was snoring so I couldn’t sleep. Took my temperature, thinking it would be low, as it’s dipped a tiny bit over the past two days. I was sure my temp was on its way down, which meant that my period was on its way. But no. Temperature was higher. Hmm… I thought. This has potential. So I got up, went to feed the dogs, and just opening the dog food bag sent me gagging. Took a test and… holy crap! All I could do was collapse to the floor, cry and hug my dogs. I wanted to wake D up, but since it wasn’t even 6 a.m. yet and he was sick, I didn’t want to disturb him. So I got in the shower and started getting ready, just to give myself something to do. He came downstairs about a half hour later and asked me why I was up so early, and I just blurted out, “I’m pregnant!!” and shoved the pee stick in his face (ha). His first question was, “Do you believe what it says?” Silly husband. I explained to him that those things are pretty darn accurate. So then we hugged for a long time and he was like, “Well that was easy!” and we both just laughed. I still can’t believe we got knocked up our first month really trying. We were both fully expecting it to take a while, especially given what I thought were issues with my luteal phase. I’ve been doing acupuncture and taking B6 supplements, though, and I think those really helped. Still, it’s a total shock. As Vizzini would say…

health & body, musings, pre-pregnancy, pregnancy

You’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no…

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

I don’t even know what to think anymore, besides the fact that my body is throwing me for a loop and my tendency to overanalyze is only making things worse. For the past week or so, something has just felt “off.” And despite the fact that I promised myself I wouldn’t test until my period was actually late, I gave in and tested last Friday. Negative. Nope, not pregnant. Must have been all in my head… right? Well, it was pretty early… maybe too early to know? Okay, I decided (this time for reals) that I would wait it out. If my period didn’t show by Tuesday, I would test again. Of course, I have no willpower and tested again on Monday. Negative again. While part of me was beginning to accept the result, part of me wondered if maybe it was still too early to know for sure. After all, I was still only 10 days past ovulation, and most home pregnancy tests have only a 35% accuracy rate at that stage. Not to mention I was still not quite feeling like myself. Well, late Monday night I got a more convincing confirmation to the negative: what appeared to be the start of my period. While I can’t deny that I was disappointed, it was a relief just to know already. I was so ready to finally get off this crazy train, for at least another month.

Or so I thought. The next day, my “special friend” was gone.

Huh?! So now, thanks to Google (which gives me access to way more information than a crazy hypochondriac like me should be allowed), my latest theory is that maybe I experienced phenomenon known as “implantation bleeding.” Some women experience some light bleeding they mistake for a period, but it’s really just the fertilized egg burrowing in, something that usually happens around 6-12 days after ovulation. Additionally, some women experience a drop in basal temperature at implantation, and Tuesday morning’s temperature drop also supports that theory. Then again, your temp is also supposed to drop as you approach your period. The difference is, your temperature is supposed to drop and stay low during your period, whereas it would dip and then jump back up again if it was an ovulation dip. To make things more complicated, today’s temperature jumped up a little, but not back to where it was, so I’m even more confused than ever.

So what now? I guess I just have to wait… either for my period to show up again and chalk it up to a weird body fluke, or if it doesn’t show by tomorrow, test again. Bah…

9/8 update: Today marks 13 days past ovulation. Negative pregnancy test this morning. Temps have taken a dive and are now around my pre-ovulatory temps. Still no sign of my period and I’m even more confused than ever!

9/9 update: Temps were even lower this morning, but I FINALLY started my period (let’s hope it sticks around this time). At this point I’m over being disappointed about not being pregnant – I’m just glad to finally know that I can move on to the next cycle – the cycle we were supposed to start trying anyway. Bonus: no drink fakeouts required at the bachelorette party and wedding! This also means I had a 13 day luteal phase this cycle, which is great news, as that’s more in the normal range.

health & body, house, musings, pre-pregnancy, pregnancy

The best laid plans…

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

As I mentioned previously, since we had my IUD removed a month earlier than planned, we were going to be careful for a month before trying. Well… let’s just say we weren’t very diligent about that plan just once, and that “just once” ended up being on the day I ovulated. What do they say about the best laid plans again? Anyway, here I am, 6 days post-ovulation, wondering… could I be? No way. Maybe? Highly unlikely. But still possible. On the one hand, if we had been trying, the timing would have been great. But on the other hand, due to my short luteal phase, I’m fully anticipating this taking a while. Besides, who gets pregnant on the first month, anyway, let alone the first “time?” It takes the average healthy couple 6 months, and I know many who have tried for much longer.

It doesn’t help that I’m an admitted hypochondriac. I’m seriously over-analyzing every potential symptom, logically knowing that even IF I were, it would probably be too early to be exhibiting symptoms, anyway (although a blogger I occasionally follow got a positive pregnancy test at 6 DPO). I promised myself I wouldn’t over-analyze, yet here I am. Again, best laid plans, right?

Admittedly, most of my “symptoms” are similar to what I feel each month as my period is approaching. Mother Nature is a cruel beast, as the same hormone that surges when you are pregnant (Progesterone) is also what dominates your luteal phase as you approach your period, so the symptoms can be nearly identical. However, the one thing I’ve never experienced before that I just noticed this morning is a sudden heightened sense of smell. For some reason when I came downstairs this morning to feed the dogs, I got a whiff of what smelled distinctly like urine (eeewww). The dogs are both housetrained and we have brand new carpet, so I have no idea where it was coming from, but there it was. I also felt a little nauseated later this morning, but admittedly that was after I started to obsessively over-analyze the smell issue. The mind can be very powerful and I am trying to keep a level head about this, knowing that once I psych myself into thinking I have symptoms I will likely start noticing even more.

So, to keep myself sane until Wednesday (when my period will either have arrived or be officially late), I’m making a list of all the things I have to look forward to if I’m not knocked up. In theory, whether I am or not, I’ll be excited, right? Either excited to have literally gotten pregnant on the first try and to not have to go through the stress that months (or years) of trying can bring… or excited for the following:

  1. My future sister-in-law’s bachelorette party on the 17th, followed by my brother’s wedding on the 24th. The wedding was originally one of our primary reasons to wait until September. As I mentioned before, me at a social event without a drink in my hand is highly suspect — especially at a bachelorette party where the entire event pretty much revolves around booze. I would have to pull off some pretty sneaky stuff to fake drinking that night and not raise suspicions (we won’t be sharing the news with anyone until we’re out of the first trimester).
  2. Also booze-related: drinking one of our special bottles of wine. We have a couple nice bottles that we’ve been saving for a special occasion. I think this journey we’re about to embark upon is pretty much the epitome of a special occasion. And since we can’t exactly toast to a positive pregnancy test, it would be nice to share one last nice bottle of wine before giving it up for 9 months (or longer, depending on breastfeeding). Plus, one of our nice bottles is called “Penetration” from the Naked Winery where we went on my 30th birthday. Fitting, yeah? (giggle)
  3. Hot yoga. I bought some Groupon deals for hot yoga and still have 19 sessions left to use up. They expire in a year. Exercise is safe during pregnancy, but hot yoga raises your body’s temperature, which is a no-no. Same reason pregnant women should avoid hot tubs. So I’m hoping to use up some of those sessions prior to getting knocked up. It would also be great to lose a couple pounds and get in better shape NOW (to make getting back in shape after delivery easier). So if this turns out to not be our month, I’ll make it my personal mission to use up as many of those hot yoga sessions as I can, while I can.
  4. More time to get house stuff done — specifically, the second bathroom we’re planning to add. One of the main reasons for adding the bathroom in the first place was because I don’t want to be falling down the stairs in the middle of the night once I’m getting up multiple times to pee. From what my friends have told me, that starts only a few weeks in. If this is our month, I’ll have to be careful when going up and down the stairs, but at least I won’t be so big I can’t see my feet for a quite a while. Still not ideal, though, so if it isn’t our month, we’ll have more time to get the bathroom done before I really need it. Plus, I’ll probably be more help building the actual bathroom, if I’m not so worried about fumes or dust or heavy lifting.
  5. Work. That may sound like a strange thing to look forward to, but hear me out. Work has been a bit slow lately, and I’ve been at my current job less than a year. Consequently, I don’t feel like I’ve been able to really prove what I can do. I’m just sort of plugging away, and while I’m not doing anything wrong, I don’t feel like I’m wowing anyone, either. I had hoped to achieve that wow factor before announcing that I’ll be leaving for a while. Even though I am fully planning on coming back to work after maternity leave, the reality is, I will still be taking a large chunk of time off. While I know my coworkers will be happy for me, I also know that leaving for a significant amount of time puts a bit of a burden on those left behind, especially in a small company like ours. Another month or two would give me a bigger window to reach certain accomplishments and better solidify my value. Ugh, why do men have it so easy? I know D doesn’t lie awake at night wondering how a baby will affect his career.

So there’s my list for now: booze, more booze, yoga, house and work. That’s a lot to look forward to if this isn’t our month. And if next month isn’t our month either, then I’ll probably make another list. I think giving myself something to look forward to each cycle will help keep me sane, upbeat and distracted from the wait.

Now, I have a headache. Resisting the urge to google whether that’s a pregnancy symptom…