I had really hoped we’d be out of the NICU by the time his three-month birthday came. But here we are. Actually, we had a really interesting conversation with Dr. L today at rounds. He asked us if we were tired of being here (duh) and said while they don’t like to do this, if we were interested, we could learn how to insert a feeding tube and we could go home on the NG tube while we continued to work on feeding.
I was shocked. He was basically putting the decision in our hands when to go home. I feel really conflicted. I want him home so bad. But I want him home healthy. And bringing him home on a feeding tube would mean multiple follow-ups with specialists, possible g-tube surgery, and the intimidating chore of changing his tube ourselves (which comes with the risk of accidentally inserting it into his lungs instead of his stomach – yikes.) It would be one thing if we were facing a long-term feeding issue. But all the doctors and nurses say this is textbook for an early preemie and that he’ll grow out of it. He just needs time. I just wish I knew how much time we were looking at. Another week, two weeks? Let’s wait it out and bring him home wireless. Another month, two months? Let’s just get him home already and stop wasting time in the hospital. So after talking it over with D and the rest of the medical team, I think we have a plan: give him until 42 weeks gestation (he’ll be 40 weeks on Monday) to lose the tube. His team thinks he’ll probably figure it out before then anyway, but if not, we’ll bring him home with a feeding tube at 42 weeks. If nothing else, it’s nice to have a hard stop.
Feeds went okay today. He’s taken more feeds by gavage than usual (three today, compared to his usual one a day), but the feeds he has done have been nearly full volume. It seems whether he takes a half feed every time or a full feed every other time, he’s still stuck at around 50-60 percent of his volume orally right now.
Anyway, with that daily update done, here’s what’s going on at three months…
Adjusted age: 39 weeks 3 days
Stats: 7 lbs 10 oz and 18.9 inches.
Milestones: As of August 1st we are off oxygen! Starting to do tummy time a few times per day.
Sleeping: Still sleeps pretty well, but I think that has more to do with him spending all his energy trying to eat. Though I still have hope we got a good sleeper this time since Theo was horrible!
Eating: The bane of my existence and obsession of every waking moment? In other words, we’re working on it. 65 ml of breastmilk plus 24 kcal of Neosure to fortify my milk, every three hours. Combination of breastfeeding and bottle feeding pumped milk (about 50/50 currently).
Personality: Is it too soon to say he is an affectionate baby? Theo was always so busy and not much of a snuggler. Even when he was an infant he was constantly moving and trying to see everything. E seems much more content to snuggle up against me. Part of that could be his prematurity. We’ll see…
Likes: Snuggling, being held. When he cries he calms down instantly when you pick him up.
Dislikes: Gas, reflux, having his temperature taken and his NG tube. Tries to pull it out often and hates having it put back in.
Mama: Still hating pumping. Still going into the office twice a week. It’s been hard to plan for things, knowing I’ll be out soon, but not knowing exactly when that will be. Starting to drop a bit below my pre-pregnancy weight, which is nice. I lost quite a bit of weight while breastfeeding T, but then gained it back, and then some, after I weaned. I’ll have to be more aware of that this time around. I’ve started losing my hair lately — I had completely forgotten about that fun postpartum side effect. When you’re pregnant you often stop losing hair (which is why pregnant women usually have great hair), but then a couple months postpartum you lose all that hair you should have been gradually losing during pregnancy. The human body is weird. Yesterday during barre I kept having that sensation that a hair was tickling my arms and I must have pulled about 10 strands of hairs off myself throughout an hour long class. At this rate I’m expecting to be completely bald in a few weeks.