Category: health & body

health & body, musings, pre-pregnancy, pregnancy

You’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no…

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

I don’t even know what to think anymore, besides the fact that my body is throwing me for a loop and my tendency to overanalyze is only making things worse. For the past week or so, something has just felt “off.” And despite the fact that I promised myself I wouldn’t test until my period was actually late, I gave in and tested last Friday. Negative. Nope, not pregnant. Must have been all in my head… right? Well, it was pretty early… maybe too early to know? Okay, I decided (this time for reals) that I would wait it out. If my period didn’t show by Tuesday, I would test again. Of course, I have no willpower and tested again on Monday. Negative again. While part of me was beginning to accept the result, part of me wondered if maybe it was still too early to know for sure. After all, I was still only 10 days past ovulation, and most home pregnancy tests have only a 35% accuracy rate at that stage. Not to mention I was still not quite feeling like myself. Well, late Monday night I got a more convincing confirmation to the negative: what appeared to be the start of my period. While I can’t deny that I was disappointed, it was a relief just to know already. I was so ready to finally get off this crazy train, for at least another month.

Or so I thought. The next day, my “special friend” was gone.

Huh?! So now, thanks to Google (which gives me access to way more information than a crazy hypochondriac like me should be allowed), my latest theory is that maybe I experienced phenomenon known as “implantation bleeding.” Some women experience some light bleeding they mistake for a period, but it’s really just the fertilized egg burrowing in, something that usually happens around 6-12 days after ovulation. Additionally, some women experience a drop in basal temperature at implantation, and Tuesday morning’s temperature drop also supports that theory. Then again, your temp is also supposed to drop as you approach your period. The difference is, your temperature is supposed to drop and stay low during your period, whereas it would dip and then jump back up again if it was an ovulation dip. To make things more complicated, today’s temperature jumped up a little, but not back to where it was, so I’m even more confused than ever.

So what now? I guess I just have to wait… either for my period to show up again and chalk it up to a weird body fluke, or if it doesn’t show by tomorrow, test again. Bah…

9/8 update: Today marks 13 days past ovulation. Negative pregnancy test this morning. Temps have taken a dive and are now around my pre-ovulatory temps. Still no sign of my period and I’m even more confused than ever!

9/9 update: Temps were even lower this morning, but I FINALLY started my period (let’s hope it sticks around this time). At this point I’m over being disappointed about not being pregnant – I’m just glad to finally know that I can move on to the next cycle – the cycle we were supposed to start trying anyway. Bonus: no drink fakeouts required at the bachelorette party and wedding! This also means I had a 13 day luteal phase this cycle, which is great news, as that’s more in the normal range.

health & body, house, musings, pre-pregnancy, pregnancy

The best laid plans…

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

As I mentioned previously, since we had my IUD removed a month earlier than planned, we were going to be careful for a month before trying. Well… let’s just say we weren’t very diligent about that plan just once, and that “just once” ended up being on the day I ovulated. What do they say about the best laid plans again? Anyway, here I am, 6 days post-ovulation, wondering… could I be? No way. Maybe? Highly unlikely. But still possible. On the one hand, if we had been trying, the timing would have been great. But on the other hand, due to my short luteal phase, I’m fully anticipating this taking a while. Besides, who gets pregnant on the first month, anyway, let alone the first “time?” It takes the average healthy couple 6 months, and I know many who have tried for much longer.

It doesn’t help that I’m an admitted hypochondriac. I’m seriously over-analyzing every potential symptom, logically knowing that even IF I were, it would probably be too early to be exhibiting symptoms, anyway (although a blogger I occasionally follow got a positive pregnancy test at 6 DPO). I promised myself I wouldn’t over-analyze, yet here I am. Again, best laid plans, right?

Admittedly, most of my “symptoms” are similar to what I feel each month as my period is approaching. Mother Nature is a cruel beast, as the same hormone that surges when you are pregnant (Progesterone) is also what dominates your luteal phase as you approach your period, so the symptoms can be nearly identical. However, the one thing I’ve never experienced before that I just noticed this morning is a sudden heightened sense of smell. For some reason when I came downstairs this morning to feed the dogs, I got a whiff of what smelled distinctly like urine (eeewww). The dogs are both housetrained and we have brand new carpet, so I have no idea where it was coming from, but there it was. I also felt a little nauseated later this morning, but admittedly that was after I started to obsessively over-analyze the smell issue. The mind can be very powerful and I am trying to keep a level head about this, knowing that once I psych myself into thinking I have symptoms I will likely start noticing even more.

So, to keep myself sane until Wednesday (when my period will either have arrived or be officially late), I’m making a list of all the things I have to look forward to if I’m not knocked up. In theory, whether I am or not, I’ll be excited, right? Either excited to have literally gotten pregnant on the first try and to not have to go through the stress that months (or years) of trying can bring… or excited for the following:

  1. My future sister-in-law’s bachelorette party on the 17th, followed by my brother’s wedding on the 24th. The wedding was originally one of our primary reasons to wait until September. As I mentioned before, me at a social event without a drink in my hand is highly suspect — especially at a bachelorette party where the entire event pretty much revolves around booze. I would have to pull off some pretty sneaky stuff to fake drinking that night and not raise suspicions (we won’t be sharing the news with anyone until we’re out of the first trimester).
  2. Also booze-related: drinking one of our special bottles of wine. We have a couple nice bottles that we’ve been saving for a special occasion. I think this journey we’re about to embark upon is pretty much the epitome of a special occasion. And since we can’t exactly toast to a positive pregnancy test, it would be nice to share one last nice bottle of wine before giving it up for 9 months (or longer, depending on breastfeeding). Plus, one of our nice bottles is called “Penetration” from the Naked Winery where we went on my 30th birthday. Fitting, yeah? (giggle)
  3. Hot yoga. I bought some Groupon deals for hot yoga and still have 19 sessions left to use up. They expire in a year. Exercise is safe during pregnancy, but hot yoga raises your body’s temperature, which is a no-no. Same reason pregnant women should avoid hot tubs. So I’m hoping to use up some of those sessions prior to getting knocked up. It would also be great to lose a couple pounds and get in better shape NOW (to make getting back in shape after delivery easier). So if this turns out to not be our month, I’ll make it my personal mission to use up as many of those hot yoga sessions as I can, while I can.
  4. More time to get house stuff done — specifically, the second bathroom we’re planning to add. One of the main reasons for adding the bathroom in the first place was because I don’t want to be falling down the stairs in the middle of the night once I’m getting up multiple times to pee. From what my friends have told me, that starts only a few weeks in. If this is our month, I’ll have to be careful when going up and down the stairs, but at least I won’t be so big I can’t see my feet for a quite a while. Still not ideal, though, so if it isn’t our month, we’ll have more time to get the bathroom done before I really need it. Plus, I’ll probably be more help building the actual bathroom, if I’m not so worried about fumes or dust or heavy lifting.
  5. Work. That may sound like a strange thing to look forward to, but hear me out. Work has been a bit slow lately, and I’ve been at my current job less than a year. Consequently, I don’t feel like I’ve been able to really prove what I can do. I’m just sort of plugging away, and while I’m not doing anything wrong, I don’t feel like I’m wowing anyone, either. I had hoped to achieve that wow factor before announcing that I’ll be leaving for a while. Even though I am fully planning on coming back to work after maternity leave, the reality is, I will still be taking a large chunk of time off. While I know my coworkers will be happy for me, I also know that leaving for a significant amount of time puts a bit of a burden on those left behind, especially in a small company like ours. Another month or two would give me a bigger window to reach certain accomplishments and better solidify my value. Ugh, why do men have it so easy? I know D doesn’t lie awake at night wondering how a baby will affect his career.

So there’s my list for now: booze, more booze, yoga, house and work. That’s a lot to look forward to if this isn’t our month. And if next month isn’t our month either, then I’ll probably make another list. I think giving myself something to look forward to each cycle will help keep me sane, upbeat and distracted from the wait.

Now, I have a headache. Resisting the urge to google whether that’s a pregnancy symptom…

health & body, musings, pre-pregnancy

Gone daddy gone…

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

The IUD is gone.

Had it removed last Thursday. Originally, I wasn’t going to have it removed until September, but with the potential issues I might be facing, I thought I should get it done sooner, rather than later and I also wanted to have a conversation with my doctor about these issues.

The procedure itself wasn’t terrible. Much better (and quicker) than having it inserted. It still wasn’t fun, but I brought D along to squeeze my hand during the worst part, and then I just popped Tylenol throughout the rest of the day to ease some of the crampiness. By the next day, I felt almost totally back to normal.

As far as the conversation with my doctor, she asked me to bring my charts and said that while my luteal phase is definitely on the short side, that I shouldn’t worry yet and that she’s seen plenty of women with short luteal phases get pregnant. She basically told us to just start trying and if we aren’t having any success within a few months, that she might think about giving me progesterone supplements. I am somewhat relived that she didn’t seem too concerned about it, and while I had a feeling she would tell us to “just try” before intervening in any sort of way, I was also relived that she told us to come back in a few months if we weren’t having success – not the typical year doctors usually ask couples to try.

One thing I really wasn’t expecting was for my doctor to tell me to throw charting out the window. Her reason? She said I would drive myself crazy. I’m not sure I agree with that recommendation. First of all, now that I know how to chart my cycle, NOT knowing what’s going on is going to drive me even more crazy. And secondly, wouldn’t we have better chances of conceiving if we are timing things correctly? I do understand where she’s coming from, in that charting could make things seem too clinical and take the “fun” out of the process. Not to mention, stress can complicate things. But for someone like me, the unknown is the ultimate stressor. Additionally, I haven’t even really shared my charts with D, except to explain to him my concerns once I realized something was amiss. So, for now I have decided to ignore that last bit of advice from my doctor, but I will try not to stress about it too much. I also will try not to even mention my cycles or charts or temperatures to D at all… but in the background will be keeping note of that stuff for my own benefit and peace of mind. We’ll see how it goes.

So our current plan is to still wait until September to start trying. I want to get past my brother’s wedding, bachelorette parties, etc. and give myself one last month to appreciate this phase of my life which I will soon be leaving behind. I go back and forth between worrying we’ll have troubles and holding onto the (possibly naive) hope that just maybe we’ll be one of those couples who gets pregnant right away. For now, it’s at least nice to know we’re all set for whenever we decide, now that the IUD is gone.

health & body, musings, planning, pre-pregnancy

I feel like a defective typewriter.

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

One of my favorite lines from Grease… and unfortunately, exactly how I’m feeling these days. And although my reasons are different, I’m just as disappointed in my body as Rizzo was.

Last month, I decided to start charting my cycles just to make sure things were working the way they should be. Theoretically, getting more familiar with what my body was doing should make conception easier once the time came, right? And in the off-chance something wasn’t right, I’d know sooner, rather than later. Well, something isn’t right.

I have always had pretty regular cycles so I had no reason to think things were amiss. However, when you chart by taking your temperatures every day, you are able to actually pinpoint when ovulation occurs. For most women, it happens roughly smack dab in the middle of their cycle, The second half of your cycle is called the luteal phase and it’s supposed to be 12-17 days long. Unfortunately I’ve discovered that I ovulate very late in my cycle, and the second half of my cycle is disproportionately shorter than the first half (just 10 days). It’s borderline what they call a luteal phase defect (LPD), and it’s one of the more common causes of infertility.

Ugh, just typing out that word makes me want to cry.

The problem with a luteal phase defect is that it’s often a symptom of low progesterone – one of the hormones required to sustain a pregnancy. Women with a luteal phase defect usually have difficulty getting pregnant, and if they do, often have early miscarriages. So I’m freaking out a little bit. D thinks there’s nothing to worry about until I talk to a doctor, but most doctors don’t even consider fertility issues a problem until you’ve been trying for a year. Facing a year full of failed attempts or worse – failed pregnancies – just seems like the worst emotional roller coaster ever. I know miscarriage is always a possibility in any pregnancy, but when the odds are stacked against you, how to you even get excited about that first positive test, knowing it probably won’t end well?

I’ve been doing a lot of research on the issue, and the good news is that LPD is usually treatable. Sometimes it can be corrected simply by getting more Vitamin B6. Sometimes over-the-counter progesterone creams will balance things out. Often, doctors will prescribe progesterone pills. If that fails, doctors usually turn to fertility-enhancing drugs such as Clomid. Clomid comes with a whole host of nasty side effects, so I’m hoping to avoid that route if possible. I have an appointment to talk to my doctor coming up, and I’m hoping she won’t just dismiss this or make us “try” for a year before doing anything, but in the meantime, I’ve started taking Vitamin B6 in the hopes that I can correct this issue in as natural a way as possible, as soon as possible. Fingers crossed.

health & body, pre-pregnancy

Say hello goodbye to my little friend.

Keeping up with the Hoffmans

Read the title in your best Tony Montana voice for full effect.

Big step last week in the baby planning department. I made an appointment to have my IUD removed in September. Yep, I’m saying hello goodbye to my little [copper] friend.

I never thought I’d have such a love affair with a method of birth control, but as someone who’s had issues with just about every kind of Pill in the past, I can’t say enough good things about the copper (Paragard) IUD. Non-hormonal, lasts up to 10 years, 99.9 percent effective, and immediately reversible (listen to me, I sound like one of those annoying commercials). With other forms of birth control like the Pill, you usually have to wait a couple months for the hormones to leave your system and your cycles to regulate (and for some methods, like the shot, it can take up to two years!). Not to mention the scary side effects that come with hormonal birth control. I’ve known two people personally who ended up with blood clots because of the Pill, one of whom ended up having a full on stroke (actually, multiple strokes). Sorry, but a woman in her late 20s or early 30s who doesn’t even smoke should not have to worry about stroke. Even without the issues I’ve had on the Pill (which were minor in comparison), those two incidents pretty much solidified my resolve to never use the Pill again.

Sure, the thing hurt like a mother going in – and removal won’t be fun either – but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I got a good five-plus years of freedom and peace of mind out of it, and I could have gotten five more if we had wanted to. No monthly runs to the drug store for prescription refills, no pills, no shots, no patches and – best of all – no crazy hormones artificially surging through my body.

IUD, you’ve been good to me these past five years and I’ll miss you, my friend. But the time has come to pull the goalie.

Good game.

Image snagged from flixter.com