27 weeks.

A couple nights ago I had a dream that I went in for my 28 week appointment and our baby no longer had a heartbeat. It was devastating, to have to relive our loss all over again, only this time having to break the news to everyone. In my dream, I was in some sort of a school, and in each classroom were people from different areas of my life (family, college friends, people from work, etc.), and I remember just being numb as I had to go to each room and announce that we were no longer pregnant (in my dream, I had already had a D&C again by the time I told everyone, which is odd, since if I were to lose this baby now, I’d actually have to give birth this late in the game). In my dream, dealing with everyone else’s grief was one of the worst parts about the whole experience. Everyone cried and demanded to know why it had happened, and I had no answers. All I wanted to do was run away from everyone so I could actually address my own grief without feeling like I had to take care of everyone else’s feelings. I woke up and had that weird half-still-in-my-dream moment where I wasn’t sure if it had all been real or a dream. I felt the baby move, realized it had all been a dream, and then I just started sobbing. Even after I was fully awake and well-aware it wasn’t real, I just couldn’t stop crying.

On a lighter note, I had a very productive weekend working on the nursery. I bought some pegboard and painted it with a chevron pattern and hung that above the changing table, and I finished the crib mobile I started a few weeks ago. I also painted a canvas to hang on the wall with some song lyrics I love and started a few other DIY things that I’ll give an update on later. I was feeling super crafty and productive this weekend. Pretty much all we need now is a crib and a rug (and a baby, of course!). I know I keep saying this, but one of these days I am going to get around to doing a post on the nursery decor. I really am happy about how it’s coming together!

Okay, so here’s what’s happening with baby and me at 27 weeks…

Baby is about 2 lbs. and 15 inches long now. That’s almost as long as a full-term baby – now he just needs to beef up! His eyelids can now open and close (they had been fused shut since about 11 or 12 weeks), and he has all five senses developed. I’ve even read he can start developing preferences on taste, as my amniotic fluid (which he is constantly swallowing) will taste different depending on what I eat that day. Baby is is kicking up a storm and I’m still loving it. I read that now is when kicks can start getting painful, but so far they aren’t (knock on wood), though I wouln’t say they’re subtle anymore either! I wonder how much the non-painful kicking has to do with my anterior placenta. Next appointment is Friday the 15th, where I’ll take my Gestational Diabetes test. Let’s hope all the sweets I’ve been craving (and giving into) lately haven’t sent me into a diabetic state!

Mama is officially in the third trimester now! Crazy how fast time seems to be moving. The first trimester dragged on forever, but the second feels like it just flew by, and suddenly I am in the third. Wow! Countdown to baby is now just 90 days. And we still don’t have a name, thanks to D’s indecisiveness. I actually have one that I love but D didn’t initially like. We came up with about 5 others that we would both be okay with, but every time I try to talk to D about which ones I like more than others, hoping to narrow it down further, he freezes up and says he can’t make a decision, and that none of them really feel like “the one” to him. Though he did say that the one I liked most (that he initially wasn’t crazy about) might have “a slight advantage over the others” since I like it so much. I’m trying not to push him too hard to go with that name since he originally didn’t like it, but secretly I’m hoping it continues to grow on him. But honestly, I’d really be okay with any of the names we’ve narrowed it down to. I am just ready to make a decision already – or at least feel like we’re moving towards a decision. At this rate, we’ll be deciding in the hospital. Oh well — at least this way I can easily skirt the name question since we honestly don’t know. We don’t plan on sharing with anyone until after he’s here, anyway.

I’m still dealing with some pretty bad sciatic pain. Honestly, that has been my only major complaint this pregnancy. I haven’t gained too much weight (1.4 lbs this week for a total so far of 14.6 lbs.), I still have quite a bit of energy, no swelling, no stretch marks. Really, if it weren’t for this darn sciatic pain and a large belly, I’d hardly even notice that I was pregnant. I started sitting on an exercise ball at work last week, and I think that’s helping some. I’ve also booked a prenatal massage for this weekend, so hopefully that helps too. Speaking of the large belly, I’m starting to get more and more comments from strangers asking when I’m due, which for some reason always catches me off-guard. I’m still not used to the idea that other people can tell I’m pregnant, for some reason. I guess it’s because depending on the outfit, I still feel like I just look like I’ve had too many hamburgers. Plus, I’ve had numerous occasions where I’ve had to stand on the bus without anyone offering me their seat, so I do think that with my coat on, sometimes you can’t tell. Either that or people are just selfish. Although, I did notice last week that one of my jackets only covers about half of my belly. 😐 I guess I just never look at myself in the mirror after I put my coat on in the mornings, but last week I stopped in the bathroom at work before dropping my stuff off in my office, and realized it may be time to retire this particular jacket, even if I can still zip it. Not the most flattering look!