friends & family, kid stuff, musings

Find your tribe. Love them hard.

I need to take a moment to talk about how appreciative I am of my tribe.

I’m referring to my circle of mom friends. They come from all areas of my life — from old friends who happened to become moms too, to other moms I’ve met along the way who have became friends. I actually married into some of my closest mom relationships. D has a very close-knit group of friends, many of whom were his fraternity brothers in college — and a few he’s known even longer than that — and over the years I’ve become friends with many of the wives. As fate would have it, we all ended up having kids around the same time, and it’s been great to have a built-in network for playdates. Kids’ birthday parties tend to have very large guest lists in our circle.

Last weekend, some of these married-into mom friends and I went away for a girls’ weekend (sans kids), and I can honestly say it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time. We drank way too much wine, stayed up way too late, and I know we at least attempted to sleep in, but since we’re all moms, of course we were all wide awake by 7 a.m. I’ve never laughed, cried, and cried from laughing so much in one weekend. It was so good for the soul.

The best part? While us moms were getting a much-needed break, the all the dads got the kids together and I’m pretty sure the kids had one of the best weekends of their lives too.

A few months ago, I had to go to Washington, D.C. for work. I’m part of a Facebook mom group with moms all across the country (and beyond), and had the opportunity to meet up with several who happened to live in the area (plus one who traveled for the meet-up opportunity!). Even though it was the first time many of us had met in person, it felt like catching up with old friends. This group of mom friends is particularly special to me because I “met” them online when I was pregnant with Emmett and we all had babies due in August. When Emmett was unexpectedly born three months early, I nearly left the group because I didn’t feel like I belonged anymore. But they were so supportive of our situation and I’m so glad I stuck around because I do not know what I’d do without them now.

Last night we had some friends over for dinner (part of the former fraternity family crowd). Their twin girls are about a year younger than T and two years older than E, and the kids just all get along together so well. We joke that T and the one twin are getting married one day, and the other twin is always so doting over E. We’ve sort of accidentally fallen into a Sunday night dinner routine with these friends, but instead of your typical dinner party where you might try to impress with fancy meals, it’s often simple grilled meat and veggies or frozen lasagna — but then the adults break out the good wine while the kids play. Because nothing beats sharing a good bottle of wine with friends.

I don’t know what I’d do without my mom tribe. Parenting is just so damn hard and these friends are my lifeline. Sometimes you need the friends who will tell you you’re not a failure when you admit your baby rolled off the couch once. Or who won’t bat an eye when you pour that third glass of wine and suggest the kids all watch a movie because it’s been THAT kind of week.

Thank you to my mom tribe. You know who you are and you keep me sane.