I am.

The answer to yesterday’s question is yes!

I was planning to test again this morning to see if the line got any darker. Of course, I caved and tested last night (who am I kidding?), and the line was still very faint, but definitely more prominent. I tested again this morning and it was even darker. So it appears this is it. Please, God, let it stick.

D is still acting very ambivalent about the whole thing. I confronted him about it again last night and he said he is just really hesitant to let himself get excited this time. I get that, I really do. I am feeling that way too. But I am really trying to be happy about this since worrying about the future won’t do me any good. Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby. That’s the mantra I need to keep repeating.

I made a bunch of doctor’s appointments this morning, so it’s starting to feel real. I go in for a series of blood draws over the next several days to make sure my hCG levels are rising appropriately (they’re supposed to double every 48-72 hours). I’ll also get my progesterone tested to make sure it’s sufficient to sustain a pregnancy. If it’s low, they can start me on supplements right away. I’m just getting these blood draws done at the clinic that’s located in the same building where I work, and then they’ll send them over to my new OB.

Yes, a new OB. I’ve been rather frustrated with my current OB the last several times I’ve gone in. For one, the first thing she always says to me when she walks into the exam room is, “Have we met?” I’m sorry, but I’ve just had the worst year of my life and have been in to see you several times. If you can’t remember me, clearly you have too many patients, but the least you could do is take 5 seconds to look at my chart and see that I was just in a few months ago. She also just seemed really prescription happy without actually trying to solve the underlying problem, and she never seemed to be very supportive of me asking questions or discussing things. She always seemed really rushed. I think I’m just ready for a fresh start with someone new, and from what I’ve read online about this new doctor, I think it’s going to be a better personality fit. I have to go in for some mandatory workshop thing on September 20, then I have my first ultrasound on September 28 with the nurse practitioner, and then I see the new doctor for the first time at my 12 week appointment on October 22nd.

So, this is really happening! It’s still hard to believe, but I’m already feeling it, physically. I have frequent headaches, which is new. And, similar to last time, coffee doesn’t sound good, and the smell of dog food makes me barf, as I rediscovered this morning. I generally tend to be feeling my “morning sickness” more in the evenings this time around, though.

Baby is due May 5. Happy Cinco de Mayo!